Dear M

So you have been sperminated, you horny cunt. I'm very surprised. No, make that crushed.

The first man came along and you open your legs to him. That would've not been bad per se but you were too hot to even care about the consequences. D and I even gave you lengthy and repeated lectures on safe sex. I swear I could've used my own dick to show you how to put on a condom. But of course you and that anorexic guy have nursing degrees so I thought you knew way better.

There, you'd be saddled with a fucking baby. I can already imagine how obese you'd become. Say goodbye to your arms and jaw line. Worse, from now on all you'd have to think about is how to buy its milk, diapers, and whatever those creatures need. You know very well they are very expensive. Forget about buying more sunglasses, face creams, and shoes, dear. It's sooooo downhill from here.

Say hello to the rest of your life then. Start by facing your mother now. However, knowing you, you'd fight your way through this.

I'm sorry I'm being savage right now. But you know I fucking love you. I'd be here, dear.