Tamad-tamaran Confession

This is what I feared all along... a bout of laziness.

Since coming here to BKK, work has been one big relaxing affair. Read: no pressure, no deadlines. Truly, I have the most undemanding work. I'm not sure if I'm extremely lucky or what. Most days I stare at the monitor reading blogs like my life solely depends on them. If not, I'm on YM and MSN chatting with friends from back home. There are days when I take three-hour lunch breaks, taking a nap in my bedroom (I live in the office), and when I go back to my desk nobody even noticed that I was gone.

I remember working in this NGO in Davao for three years wherein I constantly see my self gasping for air while struggling with the seemingly endless work. I was holding two equally demanding positions, so you can only imagine what kind of multi-tasking I was up to (not to mention the extra research work I did on the side). I was on the road quite often, traveling all over Mindanao. Organizing conferences, which we did almost every quarter, was the most demanding of all tasks and soon after we finish one did I realize that there's another big conference coming up. I've never been as relieved as when I handed my resignation letter to my boss.

When I worked in yet another NGO in Manila last year, I found my self bored with the fact that I was not neck deep in work anymore. For some reason, I craved for a more demanding environment, which this NGO was totally not. When my supervisor would give me a task, he would often tell me that I can finish it when I can. How breezy can that be?I had so much time in my hands. Hence, my blog was quite updated and that's also when I started exploring other people's blogs.

And now BKK, in another NGO that does not care if I'm working on my desk or watching endless porn (I don't... uy, defensive). I just got used to the idea that, well, I can pretty much waste my working hours like nobody's business, leading to what I fear is mental stagnation and unbridled indolence.

That is exactly what's happening to me right now. Fate has to be playing a joke on me as suddenly I'm swamped with documentation and editing jobs that have very tight deadlines. But no, today I came in at work at 10 am and immediately went to visit every blog on my bookmark list. I promised to start working after lunch break, which I spent instead on chatting with friends on YM and MSN.

Thirty minutes before the work day ends, I realize I've only edited one paper (and what a bad job I did on that). But then, it's too late to start working now, right? So I might as well post this entry instead.

Photo credit: Savage Chicken