Do you wanna be on top?

OMG, watch this first, bitches...

My colleagues and I went on a roadtrip to a few sites outside Bangkok (pictures in Facebook) and we eventually ended up in Ancient City, which I visited last month with another group of friends.

Because the place is super vast, I did not have the chance to see some of its parts on my first time there. Fortunately, when I returned last weekend we stumbled into this part of the site.

The moment I saw this I swear I had an orgasm... I practically shrieked, jumped off a moving golf cart, and ran towards the structue like a deranged bayot (well maybe I really am!)... of course to the bewilderment of my colleagues.

Looks familiar, bitches?

I can't believe I had the opportunity to walk on the same wooden planks Tyra Banks walked on five years ago when they shot the final runway show in which Joannie and Danielle were in the final two. They were wearing the truly amazing Thai brand Issue (check out their site!).

I swear it was the closest to heaven I ever got, I could've died a happy bayot right there and then.

So we had to stage our own Top Model competition, chai mai?

The final four had a group shot, and immediately P was eliminated because it turned out she is not tall enough to be a top model. Well, at least she can join the next cycle.

And then there were three... Tyra had two pictures in her hands. The girl she did not call had to return to the model house, pack her belongings, and go back to... Macau.

So Tyra pulled out Lakshmi Menon's picture, which made it obvious that Maggie Cheung did not make it to the cut because she is way too fat. No, this is not the season that Tyra's looking for a plus size model. Bye, bye, Maggie.

So it was between Lakshmi Menon and moi.

Time for the final runway... I worked that freaking runway like I owned it. I made sure that I applied everything that I learned from my clandestine catwalk lessons with Naomi Campbell and Natasha Poly.

I know I took Tyra's breath away.

In the final panel, Tyra said Lakshmi Menon's final photo is not acceptable to Covergirl Cosmetics because Lakshmi has a limited range. He can be high fashion but he cannot be commercial. Besides, he does not have a neck in all his pictures! What can be worse than that, aber?

So as predicted my picture was flashed on the screen.

All the judges praised me for my versatile look.

Noted fashion photographer Nigel Barker said I can do editorials for Vogue, US Weekly, and Preview Magazine and can even do catalogue for Neiman Marcus and Tesco Lotus.

Runway diva extraordinaire Jay Alexander believed I can reign over the couture runways of Paris as well as the press presentations of Marikina Shoe Expo.

Paulina Porizkova is dying to see me model for Victoria's Secret and So-En.

Tyra said I can surely endorse Lancome and Ever Bilena.

Oh, enough of the platitudes. Blush, blush. I know I can be on top.