Men Should Wear Prada

I've always envied people who can easily get along with anyone. I don't have that gift. My problem exactly is when I'm in the presence of men. They're not really my favorite kind of people to be with. (And I'm supposed to be gay? Oh, the irony!)

I'm always at a loss when trying to have some decent conversation with them. There is simply a limited range of topics common between any normal male person and me. I can't talk about skincare with them, can I? Not about about Oprah either. Sports is definitely out of my sphere. I can't start saying "Haler bro, did you watch the boxing match last night? Ang cute ni Oscar noh? Although he's actually losing hair already. Pero ang chaka at di sya nagwagi." Chaka! Needless to say I can't talk about women with them either. Unless it's about women's fashion of course. But definitely not about cunts and breasts (yuck!).

I also had the impression that men in general think that gay men are out to prey on them. I had classmates in high school who suddenly become guarded when their gay classmates (including moi of course) are within a ten-foot radius. Men seem to believe (in their wildest fucking dreams) that we are out to feast on them. Duh! Do I look like a fucking prowler? Haler, I'm not even into straight guys noh.

Men have in fact been more hostile towards gays (than vice versa). In bumfuck Surigao, my male classmates liked ostracizing me because I'm different. Also, I repeatedly saw so-called parlor gays rebuked by the kanto boys using foul names nobody deserves to be called with. I wonder where men got the entitlement to bully gay men every chance they get. So I thought that to avoid being castigated myself I just had to be inconspicuous when in their midst.

So along these years I developed a well-entrenched defense mechanism against men. But this is something I'm slowly snapping out of. I don't always want to summon the drama queen in me and make it appear that I'm a victim of this mean, patriarchal world, yadda, yadda, yadda. Besides my generalizations about men are so outmoded. Men are now very accepting of gays. Maybe it's time for me to mature as well.

But oh, men do need a lot of growing up as well. They need to watch more Fashion TV so that they'd understand why the world's crazy over Jessica Stam or Agyness Deyn. Perhaps they need to read more about the benefits of using sunblock. Or watch The Devil Wears Prada for the thousandth time and hail it as the best movie EVAR! That way we can have something to talk about except the fucking weather (and it's actually starting to rain outside... summer's finally over!... sigh).