Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Rainbow Coalition

For most of my life I only have a handful gay friends with whom I'm very close. I can think of two, but I would not even say that I had the chance to know them inside out. On the other hand, and for some strange reason, I have several really, really intimate female (usually older) friends who either became my personal fag hag, life guru, surrogate mother, or all of these rolled into one. Ironically, I did not have any gay barkada of my own (although that has changed recently). Having been secluded from the rest of the gay crowd, I feel that I hardly know how the rest of my brethren live.

Since a couple of years ago, reading gay-authored blogs from around the world opened me to the complex and varied lives of gay men. A lot of these blogs I closely follow (see my links called Rainbow Coalition) so I can borrow their plethora of experiences and hopefully derive some insights from them.

Reading the gay blogs, I realized my inadequate comprehension of gay men, thus stirring my resolve to meet more members of the coalition. Bangkok is a good place to do that coz there are certainly numerous gay men around the city (ugh, what an understatement!). Over the previous weekend I met three very fascinating gay men who somehow challenged my views on the lives of gay men.

Gay Man #1: Mr. Ampalaya
Why?: Bitter cya.
Nationality: Thai
Age: 28
Striking line: "I'm not allowing men to hurt me again."

This is a classic example of a young gay man who had been around the dating scene for quite some time and apparently had been deceived and hurt several times before (maybe way too much?). The succession of heartbreaks led him to fortify himself with a solid wall around him. He dates but supposedly has sworn off any chance at love altogether.

Ang sa akin lang naman: Snap out of it, dear.

Gay Man #2: Mr. Painter
Why?: Eh he's a painter, what can I do?
Nationality: American
Age: He said he's twice my age (I'm 19 years old BTW)
Striking line: "You can't find anyone like him."

Mr. Painter used to be married. He's living in Bangkok for the past two years with his Thai boy friend, who markets his art for him. Apparently they're very happy. He swoons at the thought that his BF is there every time he wakes up, which I agree is the sweetest thing on earth. Mr. Painter thinks that BF and him are in this forever.

Ang sa akin lang naman: All the best to you, love.

Gay Man #3: Mr. Daddy
Why?: He is the father of two kids.
Nationality: Pinoy
Age: 29
Striking line: "At least may uuwian ako kahit sino mang lalake ang iiwan sa akin."

And I thought I will not be shocked anymore coz Mr. Daddy looks like the regular parlorista in the kanto, only more skinny and pretty. He got married when he was 18 and since then has fathered a couple of children; his wife knows he is gay (like how can he hide it if he could not leave the house without make-up?). He currently works in Bangkok to support his kids, and dates men on the side (of course).

Ang sa akin lang naman: Weeeerrrrrrk it girl!

If anything, I realized it's very difficult to pigeon hole gay men. Attempting to do that is even outright unfair. In the end, gay men live our lives the best way we could, just like most people. For Mr. Ampalaya, he finds comfort in rejecting opportunities at love. For Mr. Painter, bliss is a shot at everlasting love. For Mr. Daddy, his children gives him a sense of security.

Photo credit:


Mr Rainbow Man said...

to have good friends is a high blessings...

wanderingcommuter said...

wonderful posts! love the diversity! hehehe...kudos!

indeed, cherish that friendship you have, good friends are really damn hard to find these days!

kawadjan said...

hi rainbow man and wandering commuter: thanks for dropping by. i'm humbled.

friends, can't live without them indeed!

cheers to both of you!

Kiks Phulumulu said...

katuwa ang post na to. it's so true, mahirap talagang ipigeonhole ang mga bait (new word for bayot).

buti na lang nandyan ka. insights on thailand and gay life give us readers a fresh view of what it really is there.

masarap talagang maging bakla. kahit mahirap.

kawadjan said...

thanks kiks!

bait it is then. take note. add sa vocabulary.

"masarap talagang maging bakla. kahit mahirap." -- mismo acheng.

fuchsiaboy said...

humans after all
- diesel ad

kaya nga siguro rainbow ang symbol ng mga gays kasi ang diverse ng mga personalidad no?

kawadjan said...

korak ka dyan girl. rainbow bright tayo!

sarah said...

hoy sa pinakagwapong bait sa balat ng lupa (thats you G)!

love the article. eyelovet! i have loads of kwento.. will save it for meebo. get a damn phone so i can sms you for goodness sake!

Kiks Phulumulu said...

at ako si yellow canary!

kawadjan said...

omg sarah you're baaaack!!!

anong email address mo now?

i'm online on ym most of the time (office hours, bkk time).

i'd email you my mobile phone.

i love ya!

kawadjan said...

kiks... it's not just yellow, it's not chrome, it's not candium... it's actually yellow canary !


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