Pasyon... este, Fashion Night

Ugh, this is not a Holy Week post. It's obvious that I'm not into God. I'm more superficial than that, but then let me tell you about last night. I had one of the most exciting moments of my life EVAR.

I was walking around Siam Paragon when I noticed the huge tent for the Bangkok International Fashion Week (BIFW), which opened a couple of nights ago.

You know me and fashion, we're like best friends.

But damn, I'm just a mere mortal and there is no chance for me to go inside the tent. I would've been willing to give a hand job AND a blow job to any person who can give me free tickets but even when I stayed outside the tent for fifteen minutes looking like a starved puppy, hoping that any influential person would need a hand job and a blow job, I was out of luck.

Feeling defeated, I walked towards Central World where Elle Fashion Week was opening that night. I know, the fashion industry in BKK is sorta weird to hold both shows on the same weekend. I don't get it my self.

Anyhoot, I milled outside the tent hoping again that I could use my world-renowned dexterity. I was dying to watch a show that for a second I thought hell I could even offer any orifice of my body just to go inside the bloody tent.

Dahling, the stars aligned in my favor, sans the use of my whoring skills. I casually walked to the registration counter, flashed them my bestest smile and asked how I can purchase tickets (purchase daw oh, parang ang yaman!). The girl that heaven sent for me said that they don't sell tickets but she would be willing to give me a complimentary pass.

And I thought, oh dear, am I supposed to do a cunnilingus to her (ewwwwww!!!)? The next thing I know, she unzipped her pants, opened her legs, and shoved her vajayjay on my face she pulled a ticket and handed it to me with a sweet smile. And I told her, "Are you sure you don't want any cunnilingus?". Not.

So off I whisked my skinny ass inside the cavernous tent that was by then filled with the most fashionable people around. I felt so out of place! All those chica people surrounding me just brought my self-esteem to a new low. And oh, don't get me started on the yummy guys.

Nonetheless, I turned into chica mode and strutted towards the bleachers (tama ba ang term?). There was no available seat anywhere, some were sitting on the aisles, I had to stand on the side with the air conditioner blasting behind me.

I was however compelled to crouch on my spot when the daughter of Thailand's crown prince, Princess Sirivannavari Nariratana (who is a designer herself, having held a show in Paris last year), came in (some Thai custom in the presence of royalty). God, that was my first ever Thai royal sighting and I couldn't be more excited on what was already a surreal evening.

The show I watched was from the house of Kai. Since it was Spring/Summer 2008, most of the dresses were, you know, perfect for the beach and so on. No photography allowed. It's a very wearable collection but it switched to a more artsy direction for the evening pieces. (God, I'm not a fashion critic, ok?)

What was more exciting for me though was watching the models. Sonia Couling, a popular MTV VJ and a superstar in Thailand, opened the show. Damn, she's fierce. I wish I have her long neck, she looked liked a graceful swan.

I also caught glimpse of many of the familiar Thai female models who I only see on TV and magazine covers.

The parade of the models at the end of the show was by far the most exciting part for me. All those lithe bodies floating like birds on the runway made me cream my pants (to borrow Bryanboy's term). I adore those bitches and I'm willing to do anything just to be their best friend.

By this time I was already in heaven even if my legs were numb from squatting. In 20 minutes the show was over but I had this dazed look for the entire evening.

From Centralworld, on my way to a friend's house, I passed by Gaysorn, probably the most exclusive mall in BKK. Their window displays of Louis Vuitton and Prada were magical. You know, like I only drool over these clothes on TV and the magazines but seeing them as actual pieces was stupefying.