Thursday, August 21, 2008

Bored Cunts

A number of my former colleagues came to Bangkok last Monday and for the umpteenth time I was yet again the de facto tourist guide that evening. I have to call the Tourism Authority of Thailand for my commission, given how many times I've been a guide for any friend from Las Islas Filipinas who comes for a visit.

For this batch, my services were needed for their visit to Patpong, one of the few red light districts in BKK. Oh dear, here we go again. I'm obviously not a big fan of the infamous ping pong shows. Like duh, I'm allergic to pussies. I've seen one show last year anyway (see entry here), also when a friend stopped-over in BKK. Tell me, how many times does one need to see bananas, eggs, razor blades, cigarettes, sparklers, darts, and ping pong balls and pussies together?

But then, somebody has to do it for my friends, especially coz my experience of going there for the first time was quite unnerving and I am by now considered as the more experienced among the lot (my goodness). So there, cunts were again splayed right before me, the owners of which obviously bored of the nightly routine. With the look on their faces, I can almost hear the performers thinking: Oh dear, another ping pong out of my cunt. When will this night end? I still have a load of laundry to do later.

Exactly, how exciting can that get? My lady friends were quite amused though. They squirmed, shrieked, clapped, and gasped every time the super vajayjays spew something out of those crevices.

Welcome to Thailand! I don't get it, to be honest. Among the many wonders this country has to offer, tourists still opt to go to the cliche of all cliches. I've always thought that those places are dehumanizing to both the spectators and the performers. BUT, I have to note here that I don't judge on moral grounds the people who go there, consumers that we are of this whole enterprise. Still, I've decided that that should be the last time I'm bringing anyone to Patpong or any similar place.

Photo Credit: Patpong Sisters


fuchsiaboy said...


dadalhin mo pa ako dun para makita ko ang mga ping pong at kung anu pang nagliliparang mga bagay.

Lawstude said...

oh gawd. i have been there and saw banana cutters. funny? - no. dehumanizing? - yes. boring? -not really.

i have posted an entry in my blog last week about it but decided to delete it. i wish i could just write about it the way you did rather than posting my photos about the place.

have a nice day.

Gibo said...

does this mean we won't be going to tawan anymore? :-)

L said...

Do what I always do... whenever someone shows just a teeny weeny bit of interest in watching those pingpong shows, I tell them the horror stories of how customers are practically mugged by the bar staff. It's really true anyway. I tell them to google it if they don't believe me and read for themselves these horror stories from tourists. Pero you're right, it's ho-hum. Buti na lang di ito pinapalabas sa mga perya, nay, I'm sure pipilahan sa bawat bayan na puntahan nila :) Wag naman sanang gayahin sa atin.

Lyka Bergen said...

Meron din bang Male version ang Ping pong balls?

Quentin X said...

Reminds me of a character in Priscilla Queen of the Dessert. lol.

Bianca La Plonguese said...

hi! musta na? i rememeber you were telling me before about those things they do at patpong, which is actually a boring job for them. lol :-)

kawadjan said...

donita: kung anong kaya ng mga pekpek doon ay kaya ko rin kaya ako na lang panoorin mo.

lawstude: ay you dropped by patpong din? oh well, what's a tourist got to do di ba? kainis.

gibo: si bubbles mahilig mag tawan... cya ang kasama mo ning. may mga barakada na cya doon sa dalas nyang pumunta. kidding!

l: i'd use that excuse next time honey, thanks. alam mo meron din nito sa atin, di lang laganap.

lyka: meron. sandali, ano bang wala sa bangkok di ba? di lang pingpong ang ginagamit doon kundi kandila at sabon. don't tell me interested ka. hihihihi.

quentin: ay which character is that? di ko na watch yan ng maigi. i remember maganda ang costumes but the girls at patpong don't wear anything eh.

bianca: kumusta ka na dahling? when are you coming to bkk for a visit?

jericho said...

haay .. sa Babylon na lang kasi dalhin ang lahat. chos!

Kiks said...

i am never fascinated or the least thrilled of seeing women (or men) do such things in public.

affection of love, oo. but that for work... uhmm.

there should be better jobs, dont you think?

kawadjan said...

jericho: hmmm... magandang idea yan. kaw ha.

kik: it might be the best choice available for them. ewan ko, ayoko cyang i-rationalize. i just don't want to be a part of it. that's all.

Anonymous said...

Hi Girard!

Thanks sa pag-guide sa amin that day! Lamo hindi man worth ang 500 baht dahil ang tatanda (at ayoko ko ng idescribe pa yun iba,hehehe) ng mga performers e naappreciate naman namin yun fact na you've spent the night with us and you've been a perfect "guide" anyway (from the bus to the food to the bars, everything!)

Moral Lesson Learned: Nothing.
Everything charged to experience though.

Thank you uli!

Sa uulitin!



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