Cravings

I did the unthinkable last night... I ate a small bag of Lay's and a can of Lipton Green Tea, which is not bad per se, but that was after midnight, and I've always been an advocate against eating in the evening. Or eating in general.

God, what I did last night speaks volumes about my self-discipline and will-power.

I don't know, I just got hungry at around midnight and Lay's was the first food that came into my mind. I tried resisting the urge to eat but I could almost feel the salty, crunchy chips in my tongue the more I forced my self to brush off the craving. The next thing I knew, I was in Seven Eleven guiltily picking a bag of chips from the shelf. I swear, I was totally disgusted with my self.

It so happens that disgust is also what I always feel when thinking of food. Ugh. I don't even like talking about it. Eating is the least of my concerns and I think it's the most superfluous of all activities.

I dread meal times. For instance, I even have to drag my self to eat lunch. Such a waste of time! Like, I'd rather watch porn or pluck my eyebrows than stuff my mouth with carbohydrates and animal fat. Ugh.

So what's behind all this contempt for food? Well simply, I'm mortified with the idea of gaining weight. After last night, the first thing I did today was check my Body Mass Index (check yours here, bitches). Thank God, my BMI is still 20, although ideally it should be 18.5 (the lowest in the scale for normal BMI).

Female models, I heard, have an average BMI of 16. Arrrrggggh, I know I'm overweight!

Nonetheless, currently, and to quote Karl Lagerfeld, "I have now exactly the same weight I had when I was 18, 20". Not bad at all considering that I'm still 20 (aha, and you thought I was 18, no?).

Now let's bring this to a related discussion: weight and smoking.

We all know that models smoke a lot mainly to keep their weight down, I heard (in addition to the fact that smoking is just one of the most elegant things on earth!). Smoking helps bring down your craving to eat. This is quite true based on my experience.

Lately I've been smoking more than the usual, especially when prompted by street-style blogs or fashion editorials in which those chic people have a cigarette between their fingers. The next thing I know, I'm sneaking from my desk to grab a fag or two. I know, I'm sooo impressionable.

But we all know that smoking causes wrinkles (I don't care for my lungs as much as I care about my skin) so I decided to cut down on smoking the past week. This brings me back to my food cravings of late. I'm totally lost. I don't want to have wrinkles, but I don't want to be fat either.

Photo Credit: (1) Busplunge, (2) The Fashion Spot, (3) The Sartorialist