It's that time of the year again...

Mga bading... Fiesta na naman!

Perhaps aside from the Oscars, the Miss Universe is the biggest date in the calendar for most gay men, especially among Pinoy bakla. Aminiiiiin!

OK, I'd speak for my self, being a true blue bayot of bayang magiliw na verde ang dugo.

Anyway, my eyes were bleeding when I checked the Miss Universe website and I could not help but pay close attention to the contestants from Asia this year.

Of course I have to make lait, right? Shall we begin?

Miss China... her gown does not stand out really mainly because of the color. But that pout in the swimsuit might just what she needs to be noticed by the judges.

Miss India... this country usually sends strong contestants but this year does not do it for me. She looks old! Or, I don't know... maybe it's the tattoo?

Miss Korea... uh, oh, I've seen that dress sold all over Khao San Road. No budget, much? Besides, that swimsuit photo is way too K-Pop, she might as well do some Asian Pose or something.

Miss Malaysia... I always love a girl who can work a gown even if it looks like it was bought from Tutuban. She does not strike me as anything really because she has the same facial expression for both pictures. Tyra is just furious, I heard.

Miss Singapore... OK, for sure Singapore is in a technical recession if that's what they can only afford for a gown. But at least she can afford some breast implants! Gurl, I heard you're getting a cover from FHM Singapore tomorrow.

Miss Thailand... I've seen pictures of her before and she gave me nothing but some ladyboy aura. At least in these two photos she looks better although the gown must've been borrowed from a drag queen in Silom. Pretty smile though, chai mai?

Now my top three girls from Asia are...

Miss Vietnam... I seem to like the gown and her face has a certain freshness that might appeal to the judges. But sending a tisay to Miss U is so 90's, I'm not sure if it's going to work in her favor. Still she's definitely a stunner and someone to keep a tab on.

Miss Indonesia... now she looks very confident and regal to me, I love her to bits. Such a striking face, no? She killed that gown and her swimsuit picture is very fierce without being too raunchy. I'm sooooo dying to see her as one of the finalists.

Miss Japan... NO WAY... is it even legal to wear Versace in the Miss U? I'm dead jealous. The power of the yen talaga, no? BUT call Donatella coz that gown needs to be re-fitted ASAP. The swimsuit photo is a bit tamed, thank god coz we don't need another pink-panty-and-kimono controversy. For sure Japan is in the top ten, ask Ines Ligron.

Of course I did not forget Miss Philippines... I'm not getting good vibes here though. She's some classic Filipina beauty, perhaps even too tisay, but I don't know, I'm not exactly excited. Like I've seen many representatives from the Philipines who look like her I'm starting to yawn.


And oh, that gown, dahling, National Artist Pitoy Moreno, isn't it? Everything about it is just wrong, starting with the shoes. The swimsuit photo on the other hand is basic beauty queen pose and that smile does not connect well with me. She severely lacks oomph.

Gosh, I'm afraid I'm seeing another Thank You Girl from the Philippines this year.

Mare, you better prove me wrong!!!

Live from Bahamas, 23 August mga bading! That's 24 August in Las Islas Filipinas. Wala muna booking that date, ok?