Just Saying

Damn, this blog has never been this lifeless, don't you agree? I have to apologize to my four readers (or is it already six?) for having been remiss in my blogging duties since December. Except for the weekend and travel reports, nothing substantial has come out from me lately, I have to accept.

Well, it's not that I'm anywhere close to "substantial" to begin with. But then, I used to have posts in which I put some thought into them, in Fairview Quezon City. What I mean is, my posts of late had been soooooo same-same, chai mai? Or my six readers are just too kind to tell me how boring I've become.

I really don't force my self to write, although ideally there should be a regularity to my entries, something I've tried to maintain before. Add to that some deliberate variety in the topics as well. I even have a list of topics to write about at the start of the week. But lately I've not had the chance to be reflective, hence, the sporadic (even absence of) emo posts.

I have to note here though that my readership has increased steadily, for some reason I cannot understand. When I checked my Sitemeter lately, I'm surprised I have surpassed the four thousand monthly mark, most remarkably in December when I only had like three posts or something. I hardly care how many people read me, as long as my close friends do (after all, I'm doing this mainly for my dear amigas). Still, it's reassuring that some people bother to check this blog and I hope I'm making your time worth while.

On the other hand, I do feel pressured sometimes with the idea of more people reading me. Thus, I cannot write just anything, especially the more sensitive matters (which could mean anything really). Like I cannot comment about my biases on politics and people for fear of offending others.

Of course because I do not enjoy anonymity I try to limit mentioning family stuff and the more intimate parts of my life. I do value my privacy very much, although perhaps readers think I spill too much sometimes. Far from it, dahling! Don't be mislead, puhlease. I reserve the more juicy topics to my self coz they're far too important to be shared with the masses. Gosh, as bloggers, do we really know who's reading us?

The good thing about blogging is you can hide as much as you can reveal. In fact there are times when I exaggerate some posts to cover up my emotional lows. Often, the more frantic I am with posting, the more lonely I really am. Sometimes, but not always, ok mai? Talk about using the blog as a diversion and, to a certain extent, a mask as well. So take this recent bout of blogging silence as an indication of the many things I'm hiding lately. Wink, wink.

Oh, next month is the anniversary of my blog. Just saying.