Threesome

A wonderful addition to the small body of literature by Filipino gay men is the collection of books written by three bloggers, published by Grey Matter Publishing. The publisher, La Czarina, is a close friend. Finally, after a rather protracted process of publishing the books, they successfully launched them few weeks back (congrats, love!). My BKK-based amiga, Norlybelle, brought me and La Bubbles' copies.

The first book I read is The Chronicles of E because I've never read his blog before. I met the author, E, in BKK last April and I sheepishly confessed to him that I don't visit his blog, although two friends are avid readers.

The Chronicles of E tells the story of his crazy relationships ("Me in a relationship meant only one thing: I needed a place to stay and I need money"), drug addiction, and short stint as a boy-for-rent.

The bulk of his entries, however, focus on his journey as an HIV-positive person."I never really believed that there were a lot of people here in Manila or in the Philippines who have HIV or AIDS, so I always thought that the chances of me getting HIV was like winning a Nobel Prize."

From his initial ignorance on the real state of HIV infection in the Philippines (I learned through a friend that between January to May this year around 700 have tested HIV positive in Manila), he gives us a first-hand account of how he had to deal with being poz. He also has to go through the motions of reconciling with his family (his "evil aunt" took care of him as a child) and how he is on a path to fulfilling his dreams, which he feels is now limited because he is HIV positive.

Written as an online journal, E portrays him self as a completely imperfect character, if you may. His tone is far from preachy, nor does he claim to have found any redemption. On the contrary, just like most of us, he is a work in progress and that evolution, along with his flaws, makes the book very poignant and raw.

The second book I read is The Wet Book: Stories from the Bathhouse by McVie. His blog is far from being a stranger to me. I've been reading him for about four years now. Last year I saw McVie in a club in Manila and I was completely starstruck when I introduced my self to him.

Well, obviously I'm a McVie fan and for quite some time now I'm convinced he deserves to be published. Thank God someone finally noticed! While making up only a portion of his blog, his entries on his escapades in the bathhouses of Manila are some of his most hilarious posts. I've actually read on his blog many of the chapters in the book but it's still quite fun to go through them again.

"In the darkness of bathhouses there's a strict feeding hierarchy... [The top-feeders] are the ones who either have The Face or The Body. [The bottom-feeders] are depressing creatures cursed with unprepossessing features...", from an entry titled Animal Kingdom.

As a guy who works in advertising, McVie is definitely gifted with wit. As such, his entries always deliver a good punchline. Add to that the variety of crazy people he meets in the bathhouse, for instance a guy pitched a pyramid scheme to him after having sex.

McVie's book sent me laughing in many chapters. Aside from the entertainment value, however, the book succeeds in giving us a glimpse into the dark and mysterious corners of bathhouses, thanks to McVie who is brave enough to tell us the inside stories.

Completing the threesome is Dear Migs, Letters to the Manila Gay Guy. Migs' blog is definitely one of the most popular gay blogs in the Philippines. But because he writes on a wide array of topics, when I first heard MGG will come out as a book I was curious what part of the blog the publication will focus on.

So apparently they extracted the most popular letters sent to Migs over the years. While Migs sort of gives his advice to the letter-sender, a major percentage of the book is allocated to the comments (in the form of advices) left by MGG readers.

Following such a "democratic" approach, Dear Migs is very insightful on how the current generation of Filipino gay men think. And as I allowed my self to be quite judgmental while reading the book, my eyes were constantly rolling - clockwise and counter-clockwise - as I went through the letters and comments.

Oh the bloody drama! How Pinoy!

Divided in chapters, the book opens with a letter titled "Am I Gay?". The letter-sender, William, asks, "I'm afraid if I do become gay, I'm going to ruin my future. I'm not going to have a son, I will have to marry someone and consummate that marriage even if I'm gay. Plus, I'm Roman Catholic. The Church says homosexuality is wrong. Maybe this is the reason why I don't admit I'm gay even to my self."

That opening letter alone gives you a good glimpse into the ceaseless crisis of guilt and fear that many Filipino gay men go through. (I don't want to trivialize their problems, but those lines in the letter have been repeated way too often to be anything new to me.)

Or how about such dilemmas as "Afraid of growing old and lonely," or "Am I falling in love with him? My girlfriend doesn't mind us going out since he's her cousin," or "I'm a discreet bisexual."

There's something cliched about the letters, but sadly many can relate to the writers' issues as well. If MGG's book can help those who ask the same questions, then it is definitely helping many Filipino gay men come to terms with themselves.

The comments, meanwhile, are sometimes hilarious. To the writer of a letter that detailed his first brush with love that eventually failed, a reader said "Sister, alam mo ansarap mong batukan. Gaga, as in gaga ka talaga sa pag-ibig. Bakit mo sisirain ang buhay mo dahil lang sa isang lalaki?"

There's something sisterly/brotherly in the comments. A lot of the advices commiserated with the letter-writers, while others simply served a strong slap on the faces of the authors of letters who most need them.

Reading the three books is like having a conversation with three gay friends. E is the confused kid, McVie is the witty ate with a hearty laughter, and MGG is the amiga who dispenses advice at the tip of his fingers. The books thus give readers a casual feel, at times revealing, but always insightful. Congrats, La Czarina for a job well done!