Friday, December 24, 2010

A Sad Truth

I will not talk about weight in 2011. That's one of my resolutions for next year.

I'm going to seal my mouth whenever I see an obese person even if deep inside I wanna tell them that they look like trucks with legs. I will never again berate my close friends about how their waistline is expanding three inches every time we meet, even if I know those are exactly the words they need to hear and they should be thanking me for telling them the sad truth. I will stop counting my friends' chins, or reminding them that their clavicles are suffocating.

I know that through the years I have been mean to people with a body mass index of more than 16. I'm not going to apologize for my behavior. Uhu, no way. But for next year I'd be kinder and embrace people even if I my hands don't meet at their back when I literally hug them.

You see, karma is a bitch. I've been gaining weight my self this year. I don't know how it happened, but twice I had to exchange trousers at the department store because I bought them TWO sizes smaller. It's tragic, I know.

It must be me hitting 30 this year. I've been developing a paunch that just does not want to go away no matter what I do. I've been following a strict diet of peanuts for dinner to no avail. I hardly eat these days, in fact.

I had to give away half of last season's trousers to charity. The baby tees don't fit me anymore, so I sent them to the orphanage as well.

I miss the good old days of me shopping in the teen's section because everything else is way too large for me then. I miss shopping at the women's rack in Zara where hefty women throw me envious looks whenever I grabbed size 26 jeans. Sigh.

As I said, karma is a bitch. A fierce, fierce bitch. It must be the universe getting back at me for my cruelty to fat people. It's a message I'm listening to, hence, the resolution not to talk about weight next year. This will be my last weight-related post. (Well, I'd try.)

And if it makes everyone happy, I'm confessing: I'm officially obese.

5 comments:

Lyka Bergen said...

I understand where you are coming from. Bouts of missing someone can increase the pounds. Let there be... weight!

(Eat) Charoooots!

kiel estrella said...

for your penance, my child you have to say 2011 hail mary's while chewing on A4s. tapos you have to regurgitate all of it before saying glory be. OK?

Gossip Girl TS said...

Those who will be going to Bali this March please heed this advice. This post is but a ploy by Ms Body Beautiful La Greta Pagnanasa who is eyeing to bag the Ms Bali Body 2011 title. We just got back from Samet and there she unveiled her OBSESE body??? NOT all, as we saw a lady with a well-defined body complete with stand out clavicles. In short she's sporting a modelesque body dahlings...and everyone was envious. Reading this post, I couldn't stop my eyes from rolling from the start till the end of this post! Such a smart gal I thought but the gals must be warned so this message....Cheka!
Now, I gotta find a tunnel to hide coz La Greta will be surely hunting me down for having spilled the beans!

Anonymous said...

Wait.
Just... wait.

Boonie S said...

Sensative post. Thanks for sharing this.

All the best, Boonie

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