Talk to Me, Krap

Before I left Manila I was dead sure that the biggest hurdle for me in Bangkok would be the language. True enough, a fusion of body language, miming, and pseudo sign language has been more useful than attempting to engage anyone in any basic conversation. It does not help as well that the Thais have their own script. Most street signs and the Skytrain have small English translations at least. But the rest of the time, well, it’s as good as reading hieroglyphics for me. I was in a Seven-Eleven once and I had to ask the cashier if it was shampoo or body wash I picked up from the shelves.

I don’t want to make a joke of the English skills of Thais, who I can see are trying their best to communicate with me, but apparently there are just English sounds that do not exist in their language, which result to unusual sounds coming out from their mouths instead. “Fish” would sound like “fitch”, or “east” would come out as “eats”’ or “ice” would be reduced to “i”. You can also totally forget about sentence construction. A vendor from across my office when I ask her if she is selling soy milk would reply “no have” (soy milk is not available); and if I ask for additional sugar for my coffee I would be replied with “can” (meaning “you CAN add some sugar of course, you bastard”).

I was in a bus at the height of rush hour last week. To make sure that I got on the right bus, I asked the conductor if I was on bus sixteen. “Sikteen?” she asked. I nodded my head several times, which she returned with more nods and a sweet smile. Not taking my chances, I asked the lady across the aisle if I was on bus sixteen, even drawing the figures one and six in the air between us. “Ah, sikteen?” she confirmed. I replied “chai” (yes). I received several nods again and of course the perfunctory smile. So I settled in my seat until I realized several minutes later that I was in fact on bus 163.

My officemates advised me that I should try talking to students instead coz most of the time they can speak better English. My experience however says that while students can comprehend English with ease, they still don’t have the confidence to speak English. They are still limited to one-word replies or a fragment at best. I was also surprised when even people behind the McDonald’s counter in Khao San Road – probably where there is highest concentration of tourists in Bangkok – can hardly speak English.

When my officemates prattle in rapid Thai during lunch break, I’m left staring at the contents of the condiments rack or swirling my bowl of noodles with chopsticks. It’s like being alone in the midst all the noise. I feel excluded from this secret language.

Thai, for the foreigner, is a very difficult language to learn. It’s extremely tonal. I know “mai” can mean a host of things based on whether the tone is rising, falling, or neutral. The term “kai” can either mean chicken or egg, depending on how you pronounce the “k”. It couldn’t be more tricky than that. Their word for “I” and “you” comes in different forms. You use the appropriate one when talking to a superior, an acquaintance, or a friend.

An officemate had been kind enough to give me Thai lessons 30 minutes after work every day. So far we have covered how to order food, shop, and take the cab. Yesterday I was introduced to numbers.

I know two Singaporean colleagues who can have a decent conversation with the locals. I am totally green with envy. But that can only mean that learning Thai is definitely possible. But I would not attempt to decipher the script yet; it’s just too complicated at this point.

So far I’ve managed to learn a few key phrases such as “hello” (sawadee krap), thank you (korp khun krap), “not spicy” (mai peht krap), and “how much” (thao rai krap). [Notice how each sentence ends with “krap”? This is a form of “I” that would denote you are being polite to the person you are talking to.] I’m not sure how I sound when uttering these phrases but I’m afraid I sound very strange to the Thais.