Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Processing: The Pursuit of Happyness Edition
Agent San Francisco: ikaw, how are you? kumusta ang bkk?
Agent BangCock: i'm ok... i realized last night that i'm happy and satisfied with my life... surprising coz i've always been restless
Agent BangCock: last night it just dawned on me that i'm feeling serenely happy OR happily serene these past months
Agent San Francisco: winner naman ang realisation na yan
Agent BangCock: i know! hahahaha. weird nga. i don’t know where it came from
Agent San Francisco: ang basic question pa e, how did you end up in the mode of thinking?... as in u asked yourself?
Agent BangCock: wala lang... i was looking at the painting on my wall and the thought just came into my head... "hmmm... i'm actually happy and contented after years of restlessness". yun lang
Agent San Francisco: ay kaloka. when will i have that moment kaya?
Agent BangCock: baka it would dawn on you in SFO
Agent BangCock: or maybe coz you don’t think of happiness... you don’t even have to will it... it just happens.
Agent BangCock: you need to be calm for once to listen to your self, i guess
Agent San Francisco: maybe maybe maybe
It just happened on its own.
For the first time in years I'm free of the need to have something to look forward to.
For the first time in years I wholly appreciate the present and can truly be content with it.
Perhaps it has something to do with feeling settled in BangCock, of the certainty that I don't need to be any where else right now.
Perhaps it has something to do with the comfort of having really genuine friends in the city... and beyond (Star Trek isdatchyu?).
Perhaps it has something to do with the balance that I've achieved in many aspects of my life and that makes me feel more whole.
Oh, it might even be just hormones.