The Girls from Asia

Well, here we are again! One of the most-anticipated moments of the year when girls from all over the world scramble over a stupid crown Donal Trump puts up for grabs. The new Miss Universe will be crowned in Las Vegas in a couple of weeks or so. And that means bayots all over the world will be closely scrutinizing each contestant, as already started by Lyka Bergen?

As part of the big crowd of beauty pageant "observers", I have a few things to say about the evening gown photos of the contestants.

Last year I checked the women from Asia and I'm doing the same this time. I'm just wondering though, where's Miss Vietnam?

Anyway, let's start.

Miss China. You. Must. Be. Kidding. Me. I did not even know China celebrates Halloween and now she comes as what, Tinkerbell? Such a beautiful girl (look at those skinny arms!), but what is she doing in this gown that not one courageous drag queen would ever want to wear?

Miss India. This is a beautifully draped gown and the color is very sophisticated. I also love the glittery shoulder pad. But his Cheri Gil wanabee could not even work the gown properly. And that headband? Is it keeping that atrocious hair in place? Hmmm... this is how you DON'T win a beauty pageant, my love.

Miss Indonesia. Now this is how you work a gown... if and only if you want to tell people that you don't have a proper ironing board in whatever seedy Las Vegas hotel Donald Trump put you in. Besides, the color is too bubblegum to be taken seriously, and those frayed seams cheapen the gown even more.

Miss Japan. This is how you work a gown. Now, seriously. Her pose, along with the hair, complements the shape of the gown to perfection and I love that fierce look on her. However, I find the material of this gown too heavy. Also, what's with insects this year, aber? Do we have an entomology theme?

Miss Korea. Love this! Love the gown, love the pose, love the hair, love the body (hellow clavicles!), love the accessories, but I don't love the face. I think she's quite pretty but the way she angles her face here is just plain boring and she is virtually without a neck.

Miss Malaysia. She has a really beautiful face, and those eyes are very arresting. But again, she looks stumpy here because like Miss Korea she forgot to use her neck. The gown, on the other hand, is making me sleep. The color is not going to catch any of the judge's attention and the curtain fabric used drags it even further.

Miss Philippines. I love the dynamism of the pose, she looks like she's dancing. Also, this is how you use your neck to full advantage. But while the gown moves well, the color and material are, as Lyka said, very Divisoria. Someone please put this stunning girl in a decent gown! And I'm not talking to you, Pitoy Moreno!

Miss Singapore. Does anyone have some Paracetamol? I see a major migraine on its way, ladies. Or is she just bored by her boring face? I'm sure she's not alone. And that gown, why does it have to be such a heavy material? It makes it her look obese! Next!

Miss Thailand. Let's start with the obvious... this gown is completely over-worked, especially for a beauty pageant. It's distracting us from her face and gives her too much bulk. Someone give this girl some scissors to trim the gown with. And while you're at it, please also give her a lesson on putting make-up.

So that rounds up our girls from Asia this year. I obviously could not tell yet who among them is strong, but I'm so uninspired by this year's contestants from this part of this world.

It's early to tell though coz we've only seen the gowns. I checked the photos of the other girls and their gowns look equally cheap, if not cheaper, than the Asians. I could not wait to see the swimsuit photos to give us more basis on betting for our favorite girls. 

So let's keep our eyes open for Miss Universe action and may the best girl win. 

Lyka Made My Day

Quick post!

I was having a calm Friday morning, reading on meta-ethics and moral relativism, when suddenly Lyka Bergen, the La Toya Jackson of San Francisco, chatted me up on YM. Of course, there's the usual binayot achuchu and some beauty pageant and Project Runway talk.

Things took a tragic turn though when he sent me the link of Preview magazine, one of the top fashion magazines in Las Islas Filipinas. The discussion of the day is the red carpet pictures of Preiview's Best-Dressed Ball 2009. So we started exchanging comments on the clothes of the celebrities who made it to the list.

Below is the minutes of the meeting... with minor editing on grammar and typo and to make it more concise and coherent, but the rest is exactly how we reacted the moment we saw the pictures.

All photos are from Stylebible.

Divine Lee wearing a Balmain jacket, a dress by Rajo Laurel, and Lanvin heels.

kawadjan: si divine lee!!!! kainis. balmain!!! i wish divine ang name ko.

Melissa Dizon in a dress of her own design and Alexander McQueen boots.

Lyka Bergen: and Melissa Dizon. Kalokah. Alexander McQueen ang boots ng Melissa Dizon!

kawadjan: OA sya sa sunburn ha. OA sya sa tanning spray. nag-tanning siguro sila sabay ni jez patel.

Bea Soriano wearing Randy Ortiz, an H&M vest, and Gareth Pugh platforms.

kawadjan: si bea soriano in gareth pugh. nag tumbling ako. pero ang laki ng hair ha. di k o bet. as in gusto ko syang sabunotan!!!! kainis sya!!! she needs a proper stylist. best dressed na yan??? haler! *poot mood* besides, you should not wear H&M in a function di ba? Ewwww... di ko kaya.

Lyka Bergen: tawa kami ng tawa ni Mama O

kawadjan: if i wear an h&m vest i would not give the brand name to the magazine. sasabihin ko na lang na vintage. mas romantic pakinggan.

Pam Quiñones in an Ivarluski Aseron gown and Acne booties.

Lyka Bergen: bilisan mo na kay Pam Quinones

kawadjan: pam na now. oh. it's a poor imitation of some balmain gown and the f/w collection of gucci. it's bad. the gown is shapeless.

Lyka Bergen: true

kawadjan: omg, ang cheap ng fabrique! lalo na yung lining! omg, divisoria? colon sa cebu? tutuban? omg.

Lyka Bergen: hahahaha

kawadjan: and acne boots??? gosh, refer to the h&m comment

Lyka Bergen: gagah ka talaga

kawadjan: some celebs in our country can be quite delusional.

Lyka Bergen: oo nga. basta may pangalan lang ang sinusuot... pwede na

kawadjan: korak! di nila alam ang relative importance nito sa fashion industry

Lyka Bergen: at Preview pa to ha

Maricel Soriano in a Lanvin dress and Viktor & Rolf heels.

kawadjan: gusto ko si maricel. classy. but a bit boring.

Anne Curtis in a dress by Eric delos Santos and Christian Louboutin heels.

kawadjan: omg anne curtis. i closed the window na. i died.

Lyka Bergen: hahaha

kawadjan: i puked sa coffee mug ko. gosh. i might take a sick leave.

Preview Best Dressed 2008: Mai Kauffman in an Estien Quijano dress and Zara heels.

kawadjan: OMG... mai kauffman... i died the second time today. everything's just WRONG about her, starting with her make-up!

Lyka Bergen: true girl

kawadjan: zara heels! groundbreaking! as in zara!!! refer again to h&m comment.

Amina Aranaz-Alunan in a dress by Jan Garcia, Aldo heels and an Aranaz bag.

kawadjan: amina!!! omg, omg, is she pregnant? even if she is pregnant there is no excuse for wearing something so bad!!! saan galing ang tela?

Lyka Bergen: very Ms Colombia

kawadjan: i know!!!

Ria Bolivar in a Tina Daniac dress and Nine West wedges.

Lyka Bergen: I lyk Ria's. kasi Model sya. kahit ano... carry nya.

kawadjan: hmmmmm.... di ko bet ning. i'm sorry. ang gulo ng damit nya. and the shoes are sooooo wrong for the dress. too much.

Lyka Bergen: yun nga lang ang shoes

Preview Editor-In-Chief Pauline Juan in Mich Dulce.

kawadjan: ay sino itong si pauline juan? sya ang love ko.

Lyka Bergen: yeah Mich Dulce

kawadjan: she is perfect... well, she could have made the skirt shorter but she is divine as it is. winner! what do you think?

Lyka Bergen: true ka about the skirt

Preview Fashion Editor Liz Uy in Joey Samson and YSL Tribute pumps.

kawadjan: i love liz uy ning. what do you think of that black thing?

Lyka Bergen: safe.

Preview Best Dressed 2005 and Preview Associate Fashion Editor Daryl Chang in an outfit by Cary Santiago and Stella Luna heels.

kawadjan: daryl chang is the new bai ling?!



And these are already the best-dressed in Manille???

Hay, I need to see a psychiatrist now. I'm traumatized.

Lyka, I hate you. Beso, beso. Tse!


Post-script...

After posting this entry, I got comments from both Fuchsiaboy and Mel Beckham that the theme of the party was Barbie (thanks, bitches), hence probably explaining why the colors were a bit too bubblegum for our taste, ditto for the make-up and the hair.

I just feel that I need to mention that so that the readers would have a better understanding of the event in connection with the fashion of the evening.

Besides, that shows how we can easily criticize people without knowing exactly the context, and in this case, truly, that is my weakness.

Down with Vogue Italia (choz!)

Now I've always known that the big people in the fashion industry read my blog. Like... hello Ana Wintour, hello Glenda Bailey, halo Carine Roitfeld, hello Robbie Myers, hello Franca Sozzani!!!. And I'm fine if they cannot help poring into my humble blog and get inspired by it. That should be expected given how fantabulous this blog truly is.

But I did not expect that the day would come when some fashion photographer named Steven Meisel would have the audacity to copy (not even get inspiration dahling... you read that right: COPY) from my blog. Ugh.

Check out this editorial from Vogue Italia for August 2008 (complete set here)... does it remind you of something?

This is supposedly the magazine's tribute to Yves Saint Laurent and the editorial is graced by the the presence of models Linda Evangelista, Karen Elson, etc. Please take note that, we did the shoot last July in Penang while Vogue Italia only came out with their spread in August.

The Czarina of Penang, who photographed me in the photos below, is incensed at the blatant theft of our supreme artistic ideas.

Now, tell me who is more ferosh???

Linda who?

Who showed more emotion while combining high fashion?

Now even Bubbles can werq it better!!!

I know, I know... it's obvious that team Penang wins this hands down. We have a better vision, don't you think? And give us some black lace, instead of my Khao San Road T-shirt, and a better camera, instead of my Casio antique camera... for sure the Czarina of Penang and I would have executed this way better.

Now if only you do me the favor of sending your protest letters to Vogue Italia for this big copyright infringement.

Choz!

I Just Wanna Say

There's no excuse for being fat.