Monday, March 16, 2009

Estado? As in, Estado?

I was YMing with my sister last Friday morning and somehow we ended up talking about our cousins' lives. Well it was mainly about some buntisan issue chenelyn, which is really nothing shocking to me coz I know I come from a family of sluts. Chooooozzzzz! (To the famille... JOKE!)

The point is, my mom supposedly SMSed my sister that she (my sister) is pretty much free to start a family of her own blah blah blah.

But for some reason, I was an addendum to my mom's unfailing concern for her kids.

And this is exactly what she sent my sister (in Suriganon, with virtually no punctuation marks):

"sagdi rkan si gp amo n gjud tingali ija stado nadawat na nato jaun. isa ry tagkahadlukan bc msakit i2n nan AIDS simbko lmang."

Ok, let me try my best to translate this to Tagalog:

"Pabayaan mo na si GP [my nickname]. Ganyan na talaga siguro ang kanyang estado. Natanggap na natin yan. Iisa lang ang kinakakatakutan ko, baka magkasakit sya ng AIDS, God forbid."

Honestly, I don't know how to precisely translate that to English, but basically what my mom was saying, or at least what she implied, was that she had accepted my sexual orientation and that her only fear is that I'd contract AIDS.

How tumbling moment can that get, aber?

My first reaction was really to LOL! That's honestly the best thing I could do at that time. What exactly is my mom thinking?

However, looking at it now, I reached a couple of conclusions.

One. My parents are at least aware that I'm gay.

Like, haler!!!??? What can be more obvious, di ba?

But the point is, my parents can talk about it now. For so long we've always adopted the don't-ask-don't-tell policy. I never really found it imperative to come out to them coz I simply don't see the point. But c'mon, in my case, coming out is just so... fucking redundant.

The bottomline is, as my mom said it, they have come to terms with my sexuality, di ba? I think that's the most important part. Relieved ang bayot.

Now moving on.

Two. My parents are concerned that I'd get infected?


This one concerns me more than the former coz I can't really believe how ignorant my mom is on this matter (sorry, mommy). Ugh. Most Filipinos haven't really let go of their stereotypes about gay people, my mom included unfortunately.

Well, ok, I appreciate her concern. But there are more things to be concerned about, mom... like, if I get enough skin hydration every night or that my shoes match my scarf.

But AIDS? I don't think so.

For one, my mom raised us talking about sex relatively openly. We learned about contraception, so in effect protection as well, since we were at least eight years old perhaps.

Second, I do get regular HIV tests, espcially here in BKK where it's free.

Third, I've ALWAYS, ALWAYS practiced safe sex. Gosh, what can be more difficult than that? Wait, probably braiding hair is harder. But no, I can braid hair with my eyes closed. Ooops, and having sex too, in many cases at least.

And fourth, she has no idea that ten years of going to Catholic school made me a true Dalagang Filipina. The nuns would be so proud of me! I don't sleep with just anyone; I sleep with EVERYONE. Choz!

Hay ambot! Hay ewan! Hay inday!

I don't know how to explain to my mom that her fears are totally misplaced and in fact baseless. I wish she knows me more.

Anyway, I'm just amused. Yun lang.


Was Once said...

Talk like an adult to her, would be a great start. Reassure her, and point out her importance in your life...that's why you will not depart sooner! :) Moms really appreciate this.

fuchsiaboy said...

It's her right to be concerned about you bayot. Mothers are like that. Or else di na sila mothers.

but you know what, im so glad and happy you are well informed about AIDS and safe sex. That's why we are friends di ba. You're not only fab and beautiful but also very intelligent. That's why friend kita (inulit pa talaga!).

Pero, you can't blame your mom. A lot of our comrades are actually very ignorant about safe sex. Haven't you heard na HIV infection is on the rise especially sa call centers? Yes, and that's like from people who are college graduates and speak with a fake American accent. Like style, dahling, brains can't be bought.

bitchofbangkok said...

darling, I think this sounds more positive than parents reaction for years and years up to now is basically the same (ok, mum now advises me on relationships, but to dad, gay and AIDS is still quite intertwined)
I think it is a bit ignorant and silly of them but consider the times and environment, in which they grew up...
and last...mums worry. especially about their daughters:P

Gram Math said...

hahahaha, so funny. Good thing though they have accepted of who you are. anyway not only gay people are the one who get aids ayt?

Yj said...

you never cease to amuse me.....

galing mo magsulat....

and wasonce is right... you have to talk to your mom, para naman mapawi ang pag-aalala niya.

kawadjan said...

was once: very much true indeed. i might be going home in May, i should probably take that chance to talk to them. thanks for the note.

donita: i would not talk to you every day if we don't see eye to eye. alam mo naman ako, i don't patience for insipid people, di ba? choz! ang taas!!! hahaha.

bitch of bangkok: hahaha. moms, we cannot help loving them for their unparalleled love. but also, my mom is very amusing sometimes. or maybe her gay of a son never fails to amuse her as well? hmmm...

gram math: i know! hahaha. my mom needs some education. choz.

yj: thanks for the compilment (sabay hawi ng bangs). will talk to mommy as soon as i get the chance. :-)

Was Once said...

Book recommendation;
FIELD OF MIRRORS, edited by Lozada

You might like Anthem Salgado's style

You can delete this and not post. Peace!


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