Friday, September 18, 2009

Fucks and Figures

Is there something sick with the fact that at this very moment I have a black notebook right before me that has a list of the men I've slept with?

Does anybody else do this? Can someone please tell me I'm like, I don't know, normal?

Wait, I actually know one who does the same. My friend even has his list in Excel, color coded, and annotated (you know who you are!!!).

On the other hand, my list, with the heading Kalalakihan (men), is just in this humble notebook, hand-written.

You might ask why I bother listing the men I slept with. Well, I'm a manic "documenter". I keep movie tickets, park tickets, boarding passes, bus tickets, receipts, and I list pretty much everything that comes to mind (books, movies, things to buy, things to NOT buy, galleries visited, plays watched, clothes worn this week, etc.).

So it is definitely natural for me to have a list of my sex partners, di ba? Why should I exempt it, aber? It's purely documentation.

I actually transferred the list from a smaller notebook last weekend, and I was reminded then that, hmmmm, it's a good material for a blog entry.

And it also happened that this afternoon, for some reason I could not remember now, Fuchsiaboy suggested that I might as well list these men. I told him that such list exists and a post shall be written about it.

So Donita Rosemary "Baby" Arenas, here it is.

(Gosh, someone tell me to stop this entry right now.)

Without further talak, let's go to the numbers...

Total number of men I've slept with: 36

It wasn't difficult at all to remember these men when I started this list about a couple of years ago. There wasn't that many. I must've have missed three people or so, but this is as far as I can recollect

But I certainly could not remember all of their names. That is simply not possible (as a friend once declared: Who bothers with names these days?).

But the majority of them have names. For those I can't recall I simply call them with nicknames, such as: Sugar (coz he has some sugarcane plantation in Bukidnon), Dishwasher (obvious!), Waiter (again, obvious!), and so on.

I also listed them in chronological order as much as possible and it appeared that of the 36, I slept with only 11 men in the Philippines (but not necessarily all were Filipinos).

Talking of nationalities, I've slept with 10 Filipinos, which had been surpassed by Thais at 13.

More interesting for me, however, is that out of the 36, only 7 of those guys had a repeat performance (that means I slept with them at least twice). Which makes all the other 29 as one-night stands.

Such a record to be totally proud of. NOT!

Gosh, that confirms what I slut I am! But we all know that.

Now let's talk about frequency. From the first time I was sexually active, I've had sex with only 11 men within a six-year period (that's before I moved to Thailand).

Contrast that with 27 men within the past two years. I clearly found the whore in me when I arrived in BangCock.

In fact, within May and December 2008 (eight months) I slept with 17 men (compared with just 11 men within six years in the Philippines).

However, as for my record in 2009, the Czarina of Penang only has this to say: Dios mio, mas maraming bagyo pa ang sumalanta sa Pilipinas sa taong 'to!

(Roughly translating to: My God, more typhoons have ravaged the Philippines this year!)

How many typhoons have we had ba? Ask PAG-ASA.


vanja said...

At 1000 i stopped counting...

Anonymous said...

shit gie i am shocked and inggit ha.

Aris said...

winner ang data analysis! naglilista rin ako dati, gurl hehe! :)

mel beckham said...

at least you're one of the best sluts in town. hahaha!
it only shows mabenta ka rin Ate G. sabi nga ng alamat na si Mandaya Moore, what is beauty if you're no longer a virgin. useless lang ito kung hindi ipatikim. lol

Was Once said...

Perhaps, you should change the list to one that describes how people have helped form you and your thoughts, that what really matters. Sex is just sex..everyone does it. A list does not make your life whole.

fuchsiaboy said...

it would be interesting to also know from the numbers how many of them you really cared about. i mean, i know sometimes, you just use them as 'bodies' but i'm pretty sure a few of them you had deep feelings for.

di ko na rin nga matandaan bakit ko ba sinabi na ilista mo.

the only thing i document is my clothes. hahaha!

Jase said...

I also made a list in excel with dates pati and if we had sex or not, what type of sex (safe, etc) ... just for records noon, kasi i was also praning when it comes to stds.

Lyka Bergen said...

OMG! I need to do my list too. But wait! Did you include Tiyo _____ ? Your No. 1 at the age of 6? Chos!

Lyka Bergen said...

How many as top? and as bottom? Another Chos!

Baklang Maton in the Suburbs said...

hmmm... panalo yung "i found the whore in me"... ako kc, the whore personified. chararat!

Hedonist said...

Haha I keep a list too, doing the maths is dangerous... in the last month I had an average of two a week :(

kawadjan said...

Hi lovely ladies... Thanks for leaving some comments.

But after going through them, I don't know, all I can do is shrug my shoulders and pout.

Uhm, anything else?

Ray Pinkerton said...

A most amusing story. I have never been a documenter and wouldn't know how many men I've been with but I appreciate your efforts in achieving accuracy. I was wondering if your little black man book records anything more than name and date? I can just imagine those Excel guys having colums for everything from the basics to where met, score out of 10 for each of multiple attributes plus how great the sex was down to shoe size and coming up with some marvellously exciting cross-tabulations, graphs, and whatever else they do. Hell maybe they could even use the goalseeker function to predict when, where and how they will meet Mr Right.

Anonymous said...

Well I don't see the big deal, if you just slept with them. Is there anything else you want to confess? :-)


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