On the Shelf

I have at last finished reading Catch 22 a few days ago. It has been on my bedside for as long as I can remember and indeed it was a relief that I can finally toss it on the shelf.

Not that I did not enjoy the book. In fact it is one of the funniest novels I've read. But it's just too laborious and even circuitous. And all the characters are crazy. They are constantly enmeshed in absurd situations as American soldiers in Italy during WW II.

After Catch 22 I rushed to read The Kite Runner, which is one of the first English novels written about Afghanistan by an Afghan. The book is an account of the political and social upheavals in the country seen from the eyes of a boy living in opulence before the Russian invasion. He has this servant of a boy who is his closest friend and who also acts as his kite runner.

Eventually they drifted apart as war broke out. The rich boy moves to America where he faces the humbling emigrant experience. But fate brought him back to Taliban-occupied Afghanistan to redeem himself from his sins of the past and which ultimately brings him back to his servant boy.

The Kite Runner is perhaps one of the most painful books I've read. My sister, who read the book long before I did (coz I was still finishing Catch 22), was simply bawling over the novel. Rightly so coz it was one tragic event to another. The book is even more harrowing than The House of Sand and Fog.

I heard a film, due next year, is being made as an adaptation of the book.

Just yesterday I finished re-reading Now and Then (Micheal Corlett), which is likewise one heart-wrenching novel. It's a coming of age story of a boy who fell (madly and wildly) in love with an upperclassman in an all-boy boarding school. The doomed affair became the defining moment of his life and thirty years after the affair ended he was still grappling with the aftermath of the rejection.

It is a book tackling gay love and relationship. I would still merit it however for its precision in depicting a traumatizing experience, which I believe transcends gender.

Next, I would be reading The Corrections (infamously suspending momentarily Oprah's Book Club). I've partially read the book but I never got to finish it. It can be too abstruse at times so I decided to put it down and read it some other time. I hope I'm in a better mood to start it again.

May Twenty-five

My Mom celebrated her birthday three days ago. I was able to greet her on the phone after my shift, which was about 7am. I miss her to death.

She can talk about some of the most nonsensical things about our relatives or Surigao in general and I enjoy listening to her chismis. She also has this recurring reminders about my sister and I eating properly or that we get enough rest or that we take vitamins.

For instance, when my sister and I moved in to our new apartment and we told her that we are on the fourth floor she reminded us to be careful in going up and down the stairs. My sister and I could only explode in a fit of laughter.

Having practically let go of us (in the good sense of course) for years now, I believe my mom has felt that she's losing control or supervision of her children. And somehow reminding us about the most inane things in life makes her feel that she has at least regained a semblance of oversight. Such guidance notwithstanding, she pretty much leaves us alone to fend for ourselves.

It's what I clearly appreciate about my parents. They have pretty much given us the independence to become our own persons. The trust they give us as well is for me the greatest comfort a son can have.

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I had a job interview with this consultancy organization a couple of days ago. Their office is in Intramuros, just a block away from the Manila Cathedral. It was not the kind of interview that I expected. I felt judged rather than them focusing on my competencies.

I couldn't care less if I don't get the job.

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I'm so tired of my current job though. I miss living a regular life.

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Photo above courtesy of www.travelandleisure.com

All About My Mothers

It's Mothers' Day and it is but proper for us to thank all our mothers. I'm so fortunate that I count more than one mother in my life. Indeed, I want to devote this entry to thank the mothers who have shaped me and inspired me in more ways than one.

For Mommy, for giving me the courage to face the world. All the best things about me is because of you. I shall forever make you proud of the person that I am and the person that I would be.

Thanks for showing me the purest essence of love and sacrifice.

For my one and only Nanay, for giving me the gift of your warm embrace that shall always carry me through the hardest periods of my life. And I shall always know that there's you who I can turn to when all that I need is unadulterated comfort.




For Daisy, the mother who I was blessed with in Davao, for entirely welcoming me in the warmth of her spirit. Thanks for touching my life in ways that no one can imagine.







For Sarah, for giving strength a new meaning. You know how much I admire your fortitude and tenacity. More than a friend and a mother, I have a feeling that we were meant to be sisters.







For Grace, for being my mentor and cheerleader all this time. I shall forever cherish your insights on life and if I need a good, rational mind, I know you are the first person who I should call.






For Joyce, for the wonderful moments and, of course, memories. I think of you all the time and would not stop doing so because you taught me to take risks. You'll never know how empowering that can be for a lost soul like me.





For Yolly, for giving me the reason to stay in my previous job but who still supported me when I knew I had to move on. I shall always look up to you for your steadfast approach to life.

I love you all.

Rain... Feel It On My Fingertips... Hear It On My Windowpane

"At 2:00 p.m. today, Tropical Storm "CALOY" was estimated based from satellite, radar and surface data at 150 kms northeast of Guiuan, Eastern Samar or 270 kms east southeast of Catarman, Northern Samar (11.7°N, 127.0°E) with maximum sustained winds of 95 kph near the center and gustiness of up to 120 kph. It is forecast to move west northwest at 19 kph." -- www.inq7.net

And so the rainy season has begun. I am definitely one of the few people who were elated when I saw the first heavy clouds looming in the horizon a few days ago. When it actually started to rain I reveled at the sight of water droplets from the sky for the first time since the long summer months coomenced.

I know to some people rain can be a hassle, but definitely not for me. I love rain. Not only do I enjoy the cool weather but walking under rain is one immense rapturous pleasure to me. It's an act of irreverence too.

Growing up in Surigao where the weather is 80% wet, rain is part of normal life. Back in high school, we had three straight months of rain. The sun barely came out. Everyday we faced floods when going to school. The cold weather was a blessing for me though. It was a time to stay indoors and sleep on weekends.

No wonder I'm always reminded of home when it rains.

When we were younger, there were times as well when my sister and I would just go out in our underwear and play under the rain. We'd go back inside our house when our fingers were all wrinkled and our lips were blue.

I also remember playing in the rain in the middle of the wide tidal flats in Siargao. I was with my cousins and my sister. It was damn cold with the Pacific wind blowing fiercely. Lightning flashed right above us but we were delighted by it instead, oblivious to its real danger. We stayed under the rain for about half an hour. It was not until our grandma rushed to the beach to literally pull us out of the water when the fun was rudely cut off. We were not allowed to go out of the house for several days.

Davao's weather I did not enjoy that much because year-round the it is just too pleasant. I did not buy any umbrella in my four years stay there coz there was hardly any need for one.

Now I think I have to buy an umbrella pronto. I have also to bring out my jackets and sweaters and raincoats.

*****

I met Meredel at Gateway earlier. It has become our ritual to see each other during the full moon (or at least somewhere around the time of the full moon coz technically, the full moon is still tomorrow). Meredel and I have made it our habit to simply sit down and talk at that time of the month. Doing it during the full moon has no apparent reason for us. It just convenient to put some regularity to some things and for once let the lunar cycle dictate us.

It had to be Meredel to remind me that around next month is already my birthday. I'm simply ambivalent when my birthday comes. I don't celebrate it coz I don't see any reason to do so. Not that I hate my birthday either. It's just so normal and too bourgeoisie to mark my birthday through any means.

*****

I slept from 11am yesterday to 6am today.

I woke up at around midnight last night and I panicked at the thought of waking up and doing nothing. So I willed my self back to sleep.

The Iron Curtain

Finally I'm getting enough sleep these past weeks. I mentioned in a couple of entries how it can get nasty hot in our present house. And for people like my sister and me who sleep in the morning, getting our fair share of good sleep can actually be arduous.

Then came our salvation in the form of a heavy, blue table cloth that we bought from the ukay-ukay shop near our house. We hung it (with another light table cloth for back up) on our expansive window. And our room is now as dark as night and we can actually sleep soundly. The heat is still there but not as bad as before. Definitely the darkness also helps.

I've never had so much sleep before, even when I was still in Davao and living a regular schedule. Now I can easily sleep for ten hours.

I never knew that by simply getting more sleep life can be a bit more... more nice(?). Hehehehe. It sounds trivial for some but my greatest issue since working on graveyard has been how to sleep properly.

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To my friends in Davao who happen to read my blog... please read the entry of www.badinggerzie.blogspot.com. Please refer to the entry "Davao Part 3" or something to that effect. I'm just curious who DEEP VOICE is. I'm sure lovely Yolly would know. :)

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Photo above courtesy of www.travelandleisure.com

Divina

I've had some fascination with Maria Callas for some time now so I read up her entry on www.wikipedia.com (one of the most useful and informative websites around). Her life is close to the tragedies she played on the stage. But she was rather infamous for her vanity and "diva" attitude that would pale in comparison to that of Mariah or Barbra even.

Included in that wikipedia article is a collection of her notable statements, to wit:

On Tebaldi: "When she can sing a Walkure and Puritani back to back, then you can compare us. Until then it is like trying to compare Coca Cola to champagne."

"First I lost my voice, then I lost my figure and then I lost Onassis."

"Don't talk to me about rules, dear. Wherever I stay I make the goddamn rules."

"I would not kill my enemies, but I will make them get down on their knees. I will, I can, I must."

"You are born an artist or you are not. And you stay an artist, dear, even if your voice is less of a fireworks. The artist is always there."

"Some say I have a beautiful voice, some say I have not. It is a matter of opinion. All I can say, those who don't like it shouldn't come to hear me."

"My poor sight gives me an advantage. I can't see the people in the audience who are scratching their heads while I am lost in my role and giving everything I have to the drama."

"If I have stepped on some people at times because I am at the top, it couldn't be helped. What should I do if someone gets hurt ... retire?"

She simply tops my list as the diva of all diva... worth emulating for any fag out there.

(photo above is from www.callas.it)