and the Academy goes to...

Thanks to torrent I've watched all the Best Picture nominees for this year's Oscars (nominations list here). Well, except Avatar, which I still refuse to see mainly because it's made by James Cameron. But then I might change my mind and watch it on 3D tonight.

I did not see all the films through torrent though. The ones released much earlier in 2009 (District 9, Up, Inglorious Basterds) were shown in BKK theaters. But the rest were downloaded. I swear torrent has changed my life forever, but that would be another post.

Anyhoot, I'm absolutely NOT a film expert, I just enjoy watching them for some escape. Nonetheless, I'd be brave enough to say my piece about this year's nominees, just because.

It's interesting how they increased the number of Best Picture nominees this year. It takes a lot of effort to watch ten films ha. I understand Avatar is predicted to win, with The Hurt Locker coming in as the second strongest contender.

I did enjoy The Hurt Locker. It's a rather tense movie about a bomb disposal unit in I-raq, although it has shades of glorifying American heroism typical of war movies made in Hollywood. Ugh. Having said that, I don't think it has enough texture though, especially in terms of characterization and story. It's up-front and easy, that's what I mean.

Meanwhile Up in the Air is hilarious and intelligent, however, there's a familiarity to the storyline, which had been done gazillions of times, albeit not as accomplished as this movie. Precious, on the other hand, is very gritty and touching, and it is everything but formulaic.

What I find most triumphant, however, in this year's lot is surprisingly A Serious Man, by the Coen brothers. It's a hilarious story of a Jewish family man who is having marital problems. Put in a dash of religion and sub-urban neurosis, A Serious Man is irreverent and unpredictable. This is definitely my pick for Best Picture this year.

For the Best Actress award, I'm just glad Meryl Streep is nominated this year. I propose Meryl should have a slot in the Best Actress category every year, no? I saw Julie and Julia on the plane, so my opinion about her acting in this movie is not credible. (I haven't seen The Last Station in which the divine Helen Mirren is nominated.)

As such, let's move on to the ones that I actually had the chance to observe rather closely. Since I watched The Blind Side last night, let's start with Sandra Bullock, whose nomination raised eyebrows just because she is Sandra Bullock.

I love the woman (especially in 28 Days Later and of course Miss Congeniality), but after watching The Blind Side I don't think it's an Oscar-worthy performance. It's not really Sandra's fault coz the script is rather badly-written (which makes me wonder why it's nominated for Best Picture) and her character is a little bland.

Gabourey Sidibe in Precious is phenomenal. Her portrayal of a teenage girl who suffered abuse in the hands of her parents is so gut-wrenching and believable. I especially adore her restraint (think Nora Aunor) in tackling such a demanding role. And damn, it's pretty much her first movie, isn't it?

To be off-topic, I would absolutely DIE if Mo'Nique, who plays Precious' mother, is not going to win Best Supporting Actress. I don't know her but her performance in this film is absolutely breath-taking and even scene-stealing at times.

Now back to the Best Actress award... despite Gabourey's strong performance, I'd put my money on Carey Mulligan for her role as the precocious teenager in An Education. Her adorable and impish take on her character Jane who is seduced by an older guy is absolutely memorable.

Now for Best Actor. I only saw George Clooney in Up in the Air and Jeremy Renner in The Hurt Locker. Jeremy is very convincing as an American soldier in Iraq, although he can sometimes overplay the action hero character (blame it on the script perhaps?).

But between him and George, I'd go for the latter. I'm actually starting to become a George Clooney fan after Goodnight and Goodluck and Syriana. In Up in the Air, he uses his natural charm to portray the supposedly unlikeable Ryan Bingham who earns a living in firing people. Jeff Bridges in Crazy Heart is touted to win Best Actor this year though, maybe even Colin Firth for A Single Man, so let's see.

For the Best Foreign Language Film, which is often more exciting than the Best Picture, I've only seen the haunting The White Ribbon (Germany). Currently I'm downloading The Milk of Sorrow (Peru) and The Secret in Their Eyes (Argentina), hence I shall reserve my take on those two films. A Prophet (France) is also a strong contender against the front-runner from Germany.

Lastly, for Best Screenplay, I would place my bet on Up in the Air for Adapted Screenplay and A Serious Man for Original Screenplay.

There, those are my favorites, but definitely not predictions. I can't believe the award season is nearly over! After this, I'd totally lose any point in living. Charooooot!

The Oscars is one of the two biggest days of my year (the other being the Miss Universe... like, haler???). So by next week I'd be totally glued in front of the TV to watch the show and of course observe the red carpet.

For the mean time, we have a long weekend coming up... yehey! And I'm off to see some ruins. Some photos when I come back.

Photo credit: www.oscar.go.com

Like a Star

Like a Star
(2006)
by Corinne Bailey Rae

Just like a star across my sky
Just like an angel off the page
You have appeared to my life
Feel like I'll never be the same
Just like a song in my heart
Just like oil on my hands

"Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels." -- Kate Moss

I've been keeping this secret for quite some time now, but I guess it's time to let my publique officially know: I'm now plus-size, which we all know is a euphemism for obese. Yes, I failed you all. I'm totally disgraced.

All my jeans and pants are just tight these past months. I first discovered this last September or so when I realized I can hardly breathe every time I wear some of my favorite pants. I thought I was just bloated and was hoping it was only a passing phase. I also thought my posture was not right, hence I tried tucking in my tummy, which of course leaves me even more breathless.

So when those two strategies did not work I changed my diet. I eat a heavy breakfast of muesli and soy milk in the morning, some lunch (which is not really much considering how minuscule food servings are in Thailand) together with loads of fruits, and then I grab a snack of whole wheat bread with peanut butter in the afternoon.

I see to it that dinner is not later than seven in the evening (ideally 6 pm) and I only eat a cup-full of nuts (almond, peanuts, squash seeds, cashew) and a glass of fresh fruit juice. I've sort of sworn off soda drinks as well, along with ice cream, cakes, bread, and all things supermodels don't eat. Ask Naomi...

And I exercise for about two hours, three times a week. The routine is twenty minutes of yoga, ten minutes of planks, twenty minutes of crunches, forty-five minutes of weights, push-ups and lunges, and then thirty minutes on the elliptical machine (I don't exactly know how that thing is called).

The latter bores me to death, I would not wish it on anyone, but I simply have to do it because it's the only decent cardio exercise I can do. Well aside from walking, which I do quite a lot of whenever I go to the mall (hahahaha... does that count?). Let's ask Natalia...

But to no avail really. Increasingly the pants just became tighter and tighter until I had to give up wearing nearly all of my pants, including the pekperk shorts I soooooo love wearing when prancing around the streets of BangCock.

If I have to wear some of my jeans, I open the top button whenever I sit down otherwise I'd asphyxiate to death. Also I'd get cramps on my legs coz I could hardly move them considering how tight they are in the thigh and crotch areas.

Replacing all the pants was a good excuse to shop. Gosh, I recoil in horror every time I have to fit a size 34 pair of pants instead of 31, my waistline ages ago. BUT, lemme note that I'm size 31 in Las Islas Filipinas. The inches in Thailand are obviously smaller than in The Third World; go figure how that happened! How about we ask Lara?

Which brings me to wonder, what's with the recent weight gain? Honestly, I don't think I'm gaining weight per se, you know. I'm still around the 65 kg range. And if I look at my self in photos my face is not exactly getting rounder, in fact, my cheeks are beautifully sunken as they always have been. So there, I'm not gaining weight, please lang.

My body's changing, simply put. Shades of Gemma Ward and Coco Rocha, chai mai? I can tell my thighs are getting more solid, I even have a hint of calves these days. And oh, my bums are not exactly as skinny as they used to be and my hips are, well, slightly wider. That suddenly makes me a Latina, no? Would Kate like it?

I blame it on age. You know, I cannot be 16 forever, can I? I don't enjoy the same metabolic rate that entitled me to mock anyone who does not have protruding clavicles. That's the harsh reality of life. Like I've heard many people say that their bodies changed considerably when they reached a certain age, and perhaps I'm reaching that phase. Gosh, that statement is going to give me nightmares in the coming days.

So anyway, I don't have the moral ascendancy anymore to lambaste my obese friends (and you bloody know who you are!). I'd be a hypocrite if I start talking about dieting, exercise, and all that shit. I had my time and now is my chance to relinquish the crown to younger and, well, skinnier bayots.

For the mean time, I'm ready for the backlash. Bring it on, bitches (*shakes head and buries face in palms*). Please be a bit kind, OK?

Nega

I had an HIV test last Friday evening and I'm happy to report that I'm negative. Are you surprised? Tse! Since coming to BKK, I've had four tests so far. I do it at least twice a year. I always practice safe sex but still I get regular testing, you know, just in case. No matter how many times I've done it, I still get pretty tensed minutes leading to the test and especially when I'm about to hear the result.

I learned last Friday that the HIV infection rate among gay men in BKK is now thirty percent. When I first arrived here, the rate was already a high twenty-four percent, but the current figure is just alarmingly high, making it more imperative that we get ourselves tested as regularly as possible.

Having an HIV test in BKK is made convenient by the Silom Clinic at the Bangkok Christian Hospital. Catering specifically to men, the tests are free and quick (regular HIV test results are out in 30 minutes). I believe they also give counseling and medication to those who test positive.

At the clinic last Friday, the nurse asked me if there are such free clinics in the Philippines, but regrettably I only know one clinic in Malate that does HIV testing and some sort of counseling and information drive. (I hope some readers who know about other similar clinics or organizations to contribute to this post.)

I was quite sad to inform the nurse that there is hardly any serious and long-term effort in spreading information on safe-sex practices in the Philippines. The situation is more dismal for assistance to people who are HIV positive (as far as my limited knowledge is concerned and again, I'm soliciting inputs from the readers). Such an initiative is very crucial at a time when HIV infection among Filipinos is rising.

To focus on the case of men having sex with men (MSM), reports indicate an alarming increase in HIV infection in this sector. In this article for instance (Government warns vs HIV danger in MSM sector, released in December 2008), a government health official notes "that MSM has become the new sexual norm (in HIV transmission)".

The article also reports that since the Philippines started recording HIV cases, "males comprised 69 percent of the total infections through heterosexual, homosexual and bisexual contact, with MSM triggering the bulk". Further, "in the cumulative total of 1,097 infected MSM from 1984 to 2008, 49 percent were reported in the last three years alone; 108 have died when reported, and slightly more MSM were reportedly already with AIDS".

As I do not have in-depth knowledge (nor access to scientific studies) of the prevailing sexual behavior of Filipino gay men, or those who are into MSM in general, I can only speculate on their practices and perceptions. In my generation and those younger at least, there is a more relaxed attitude towards homosexuality, hence, gay men are relatively open to explore and express their sexuality.

Internet dating sites and saunas are widely available, casual sex is common, and consumption of alcohol and drugs is rising. I'm not saying any of the aforementioned is wrong or right, but together with these factors safe sex practices are often neglected. Mis-information and ignorance dominate instead.

Often, I'd hear young people saying only sex workers get infected by HIV. Also, if their sex partners look healthy chances are they are not HIV positive. Some also believe that using a condom is not as pleasurable.

There is definitely a wide chasm between risky behavior versus informed decisions, as backed by a survey among MSM in the Philippines that showed only two out of five men used a condom with their most recent sex partner (more in Filipino MSM and the epidemic of HIV infection).

Further proof of the lack of awareness on and practice of safe sex among MSM is that among the newly infected, most are students and young professionals. It is expected that those who have access to education would be somehow better informed but that is certainly not the case, I'm afraid.

For many years now government policy towards sex education is close to zero. Filipino society is generally conservative, courtesy mainly of our Catholic upbringing, hence the first mention of the birds and the bees in our classrooms would send the clergy breathing fire on the pulpit. Also because of the church's strong influence on politics, the government is adamant to not touch such a sensitive topic should the men in robes campaign against them.

The church is only one of the interest groups advocating against sex education (and please don't get me started on reproductive health and divorce), although they are certainly one of the strongest among the lot. As a whole, however, Filipinos still refuse to speak about sex, much less homosexuality, hence turning a blind eye on what could very well be a ticking time bomb.

All-Asian Models in Daniel Vosovic Presentation for F/W 2010-2011

It's fashion week once again, ladies, with the sad news of Alexander McQueen's death throwing a sad blanket over the shows this season.

I'm not particularly keen on "covering" the FW collections as more credible fashion bloggers are going to do exactly do that. I'd rather observe really until I saw this collection...

Former Project Runway finalist, Daniel Vosovic, showed his 15-piece FW 2010-2011 presentation with an all-Asian cast of models. Pretty cool, eh? And he's not showing the current top Asian models, like Liu Wen and Shu Pei, instead he chose the relatively unknown faces.

(Although one of them, in that black outfit, looks like that Filipina model who's the sister of Bim Something-something, and who also happened to appear in Project Runway and The Fashion Show. Can someone please confirm this?)

Waves

Sharing some photos of the weekend I spent in Koh Samet.

Just Saying

Damn, this blog has never been this lifeless, don't you agree? I have to apologize to my four readers (or is it already six?) for having been remiss in my blogging duties since December. Except for the weekend and travel reports, nothing substantial has come out from me lately, I have to accept.

Well, it's not that I'm anywhere close to "substantial" to begin with. But then, I used to have posts in which I put some thought into them, in Fairview Quezon City. What I mean is, my posts of late had been soooooo same-same, chai mai? Or my six readers are just too kind to tell me how boring I've become.

I really don't force my self to write, although ideally there should be a regularity to my entries, something I've tried to maintain before. Add to that some deliberate variety in the topics as well. I even have a list of topics to write about at the start of the week. But lately I've not had the chance to be reflective, hence, the sporadic (even absence of) emo posts.

I have to note here though that my readership has increased steadily, for some reason I cannot understand. When I checked my Sitemeter lately, I'm surprised I have surpassed the four thousand monthly mark, most remarkably in December when I only had like three posts or something. I hardly care how many people read me, as long as my close friends do (after all, I'm doing this mainly for my dear amigas). Still, it's reassuring that some people bother to check this blog and I hope I'm making your time worth while.

On the other hand, I do feel pressured sometimes with the idea of more people reading me. Thus, I cannot write just anything, especially the more sensitive matters (which could mean anything really). Like I cannot comment about my biases on politics and people for fear of offending others.

Of course because I do not enjoy anonymity I try to limit mentioning family stuff and the more intimate parts of my life. I do value my privacy very much, although perhaps readers think I spill too much sometimes. Far from it, dahling! Don't be mislead, puhlease. I reserve the more juicy topics to my self coz they're far too important to be shared with the masses. Gosh, as bloggers, do we really know who's reading us?

The good thing about blogging is you can hide as much as you can reveal. In fact there are times when I exaggerate some posts to cover up my emotional lows. Often, the more frantic I am with posting, the more lonely I really am. Sometimes, but not always, ok mai? Talk about using the blog as a diversion and, to a certain extent, a mask as well. So take this recent bout of blogging silence as an indication of the many things I'm hiding lately. Wink, wink.

Oh, next month is the anniversary of my blog. Just saying.

Danggit, Bai!

I arrived from Cebu last Friday evening, hence, a travel report is in order, chai mai? I know it's rather late but the weekend was busy as hell, with too many things to do (chief of which was buying a new bed... fucking FINALLY!) and catch up with friends and all.

There's really nothing much to say about the conference, except that it went well in general. I also met a few former colleagues from Manila, and that for me was the highlight of the event.

Oh, a few notes on the hotel. It's lovely but I had higher expectations from such an overpriced resort. I was largely underwhelmed by the facilities, to be honest, although the service was very warm, I have to note. I'm not supposed to complain anyway coz I did not pay for the accommodations.

Evenings, after the meetings, were spent with the family of course. My mom looks way better than when I last saw her last December. She decided to change treatments and the effects are showing. She could walk properly now and her spirit is considerably upbeat. I cannot be more elated.

My brother, on the other hand, is moving to Manille in about a couple of months. Should be exciting for him. It'd be his first time to live with my sister, who is not easy as a housemate, having lived with her for some years my self. Kidding, dahling! My sister is a gem (rolls eyes clockwise). Well, she really is (rolls eyes counter-clockwise)!

I also met a couple of cousins from my mom's side and of course Mansing.

And then I swapped updates with BFF Nikki and Philmar. We even managed to terrorize the hotel with hours and hours of camwhoring. Of course.

The next day, I was scheduled to meet again my mom and brother but they were like late so I had so much free time I decided to buy one shirt. And then the shirts just piled until at the end of the day I also snagged a pair of jeans from Bleach Catastrophe (which was on sale) and a pair of sandals for the summer, among other things. I swear I did not plan to shop, but of course we all know how impulsive I am with these things. Now I have to live on subsistence level for the rest of the month.

Anyhoot, before we left for BKK, my boss asked me to take him to the statue of Lapu-lapu, which is like three minutes by car from the hotel. Lapu-lapu is supposedly Las Islas Filipinas' first national hero after killing Magellan in the battle of Mactan. But what they did not mention in the history books is that Lapu-lapu went to the gym! Damn, those pecs!

We left for Bangkok last Friday, via Manille, where I met BFF Meredel at the airport. She's as divine as ever! We only had about an hour to spare before my flight took off. So we quickly updated each other on who's getting married among our classmates from the university. Gosh, there had been hordes of them getting hitched, and more to follow I learned!

Guess who got a safety pin pendant?
Oh, I brought some danggit from Cebu, what else, aber? I invited Liwayway and Bubbles to my house last Sunday. The kitchen and the office lobby smelled of dried fish the moment we started frying them, which we then dipped in vinegar. What else is there to do but eat with our hands, di ba?

We also had some calamansi juice, dried mangoes, and otap!!! It was a perfect Pinoy brunch. Liwayway also brought some white wine, hence, we were on the table for hours.