Just in case you want to know

The first thing I noticed when I woke up at 5:30 yesterday morning was that the light on the Rama VIII bridge, which I can see from my window, was switched off. As it was still dark outside, it should be lighted up. For some strange reason, I said to my self that something must have happened, not pinpointing specifically what that "something" was.

At 6 a.m. I went down to the first floor to prepare my usual breakfast of muesli and soy milk, which I ate while watching the news on TV. And then I brought the newspapers to my bedroom at around 7 a.m., read a bit, and eventually dozed off. Work is still an hour and a half away.

At 8:30 a.m. I woke up to the sound of my cell phone ringing. I picked it up, pretty much half asleep. The screen said "private number". My sister's voice was on the other side of the line. She was sobbing.

"Daddy's gone."

"What?"

"Daddy's gone."

I remember my hands shaking and telling my sister to calm down. I said goodbye and called my mom. She was crying and I could not understand much of what she said. I just remember her saying over and over again that my dad has left us. The best I could tell her at that time was that she calm down and I promised her that I'd call later.

The previous evening, my sister messaged me that my dad had a heart attack. When I talked to my mom, she said that they were in the hospital and that my dad is generally OK but is just a bit weak. This did not worry me much and since he was already sleeping I planned to check on him the following day.

After talking on the phone with my mom yesterday morning, the instinctively I make a list in my head of the things I felt I needed to do right away.

Buy air tickets. (How long do I need to be away?) Wash clothes. (The water pump is broken, so I have to bring my clothes to the laundry shop.) Ask permission from my boss that I will go home. (For how many days?) Get a haircut. Cancel trip to Bali and Java. (Not that I will get a refund, but someone else might need to use my seat in the plane.) Finish the project proposal I was working on. What book shall I bring along? Do I need to bring leather shoes?

The list was quite random, it hardly was coherent, but I had just this compulsion to immediately organize things.

When I told my boss about the death of my father he instantly said that the office will pay for my air tickets. Damn, I could not be more lucky considering how expensive the tickets are at this time of the year. For that I could not be more thankful to my office.

Having the ticket cost covered I had to decide how long I was planning to be away. I thought a couple of weeks would be enough but when I talked to my sister she said I better stay for Christmas and New Year, assuming that my mom would want that. It made sense, after all the holiday mood might in fact make her much lonelier and that the best I could do is be there for her. I opted to stay until after the New Year.

Damn, these air tickets are expensive!

By eleven o'clock I've ran out of things to do. Until then I haven't really given much thought to the death of my dad. I felt there were more immediate things to do and that I can deal with mourning for him later when I'm in Surigao.

Strangely, I had the urge to tell my friends. I SMSed first my BKK friends and then I YMed the Czarina of Penang, who then told some of our blogger friends. The BKK friends called to check on me and soon enough messages from the blogger amigas came in one by one.

Until yesterday, I did not have a very clear idea of how to comfort people who just lost their loved ones. When I received my friends' messages of condolences though I honestly felt less and less lonely.

I wasn't particularly sad but looking at it now I was just completely lonely, that someone left me on my own. I remember asking my self while staring at my computer screen: where is everyone? I don't know what I meant with that question, I was simply yearning for people to acknowledge my loss.

So I wrote that blog post about the death of my father. I suppose I wanted to lessen the desolation I felt by sharing my mourning. I haven't had this kind of feeling before and to tell people about my grief was almost instinctive.

As the day progressed I felt that I needed to inform more of my friends about the death of my father. Not that they can do anything about it, but I figured maybe they should just know. Again, this feeling is really foreign to me, that sense of urgency that my closest friends acknowledge my loss. I swear it's strange.

I initially planned to inform my friends in Davao and Surigao. As I checked my list of people to inform, I kept on adding one name after another. I started with just four names but ended up sending the email to about two dozen people: former colleagues, classmates, etc.

And the email was supposedly just a short notice, instead I just kept on writing, adding nonsensical details about my dad's condition, my plans of going home, and so on. When I reviewed what I wrote it dawned on me that I must've over-done it. I seriously asked my self: why do they need to know all these?

Until now I have yet to find an answer to that question. It just felt good writing what I said and realizing that these people know what I'm going through. Perhaps, I needed to validate my feelings while I was utterly incapable to describe them. Strange. Really strange.

The entire afternoon I had this really, really strong urge to write, write, write. I had many topics floating in my head. Things such as how my father told us bedtime stories, or how he and my mom met, or how he performed magic tricks when we were kids, or about his humor, or how he loved to dance with my mom.

I pulled my self away from my desk instead, scared of the flood of emotions that would engulf me if I wrote about my dad.

In the bus to meet my friends in Silom, I was wishing that I had something to write on while the bus is stuck in traffic. The urge to write was just as strong, it does not really make sense to me. And it's not just writing my thoughts and emotions but also to put it out for others to read. Really strange, no? But I always asked my self: who really needs to know what you think and how you feel? And so I eventually tried to resist the temptation to write.

Until a few minutes ago I have been frantically ticking off the things on my list. I had a haircut and picked up my laundry. I sent some emails to friends. Read blogs. Called my mom. Updated my albums on Facebook.

I finally ran out of excuses not to sit down on my desk and write, hence, this post. Just in case you want to know.

Daddy

My dad turned 70 this year.

In December 29, he and my mom are celebrating their 32 years of marriage.

He worked as a lawyer for more than a dozen years in our little city.

Five years ago, he had a stroke and had been partially paralyzed since then.

My dad was perhaps the most influential person in my life.

He taught me humility and he always instilled in us that we should respect everyone. Most importantly, I learned the lesson of courage from him. He's always the one inspiring us to "just go for it", to be brave to face new things and stand on our own two feet.

The last time I saw my father was June this year.

Today, 26 November 2009, my dad passed away.

I love you, Daddy. I always will.

My Ovaries Love Nichkhun Horvejkul

I love Thai celebrities. Who wouldn't? Some of them are the hottest creatures on earth... whew, I don't even know where to start.

I follow them (the male ones at least) through the entertainment websites (see Wise Kwai's Thai Film Journal, Entertainment DIRTH Version, Bangkok of the Mind, and Lyn's Lakorn Blog). Also, fellow BKK-based Pinoy blogger, Man of the Rose, regularly features male Thai celebrities (and more) in various states of undress (beso, beso kumare!). Most of the time, however, I look them up in fashion magazines, which I simply couldn't get enough of.

For ages now, I've been planning to write about my favorite Thai celebrities and I do have a long list of them, so might as well start already, chai mai?

I first saw Nichkhun Horvejkul's face pasted on the side of the SkyTrain. He was on an ad for some orange juice or something. The moment our eyes met my ovaries did a thousand somersaults; I nearly fell on the tracks! Chowz!

A few days later I again saw his commercial in the cinema, and not to exaggerate, but he really took my breath away.

Da who is Nichkhun Horvejkul??? According to his Wikipedia entry, Nichkhun was born in 24 June 1988 in California where he was discovered by a producer of JYP entertainment, a South Korean talent agency. He is now a member of a seven-member Korean boy-band called 2PM since 2008.

The photo above was supposedly taken when Nichkhun reported for the lottery in which soldiers are drafted. It would be such a waste of talent if he were to join the military, chai mai?

Because Korean pop culture is very big in Thailand (I mean they're CRAZY about everything Korean), perhaps it was not difficult for Nichkhun to quickly gain popularity in Thailand. I suppose many Thai celebrities could only dream of becoming K-Pop stars themselves.

Nichkhun is set to star in a Korean movie called The Shining Diploma (source).

Recently, Nichkhun was chosen by the Tourism Authority of Thailand as the face of "Come to Thailand; Let's Take a Break!" (official website here).

Gosh, who could resist not coming to Thailand if the endorser is as cute as him, di ba?

Constipated

Around a week from now I'm going to take my Big Trip of 2009 (talagang capital letters, di ba?), one which I initially planned to do earlier this year. I'm trying to have at least one Big Trip annually, although ideally there should be at least two but since I'm not a bloody heiress nor the child of Thaksin, I can only afford one this year.

Anyway, the point of the Big Trip concept is to travel alone for about a couple of weeks. It has served as my "retreat" in previous occasions, and this time I think I'm doing it just at the right time.

For the past month or so, I've been going through some sort of emotional upheaval, although it's not anything grand or earth-shaking.

I don't know what the impetus was, but simply, I'm easily irritated of people in general. I'm annoyed of people's arrogance, of their selfishness, of their conceit. I'm outraged at how people can talk endlessly about their sorry assess. If only they would seriously listen to themselves and realize how annoying they are.

I thought it was going to be one of those fleeting moods brought about by hormonal imbalance (pregnancy or menopause anyone?). But the fractiousness has persisted for about a couple of months now.

Well, I don't have the audacity either to tell people to just shut the fuck up.

If I were better at articulating my feelings it'd be easier for me to just describe my mood lately or where it comes from. I'm so emotionally constipated I'm honestly annoyed at my self as well.

Perhaps, I'm annoyed at people because I don't feel like I was given the chance to talk about my feelings for a change.

The thing is, I do not like to explain my self. I've always thought I'd bore people whenever I do. Also, I've long thought that talking about my feelings would only make me appear vulnerable to other people. It's better to just wear a mask and divert attention from my self.

On the one hand, I rarely meet people who are genuinely interested in how I feel. I've always been afraid that nobody really understands me, even my closest friends, I'm sad to say.

On the other hand, if I don't express my self in the first place, absolutely no one would have an idea of my real emotions. So there, why I'm whining about not being understood at all?

Hmmm... so there, it's kinda weird (and I'm not sure if I'm making sense).

So where does this lead me? Perhaps because of a bit of pent-up emotions, I've withdrawn from people lately. Although they deserve some explanation at least, I've never really told my friends why; I just tell them I choose to be alone. Thankfully, my closest friends understand this and not until in this post did I confess.

(Honestly, I don't know why I'm writing this, pero punyeta pagbigyan nyo na ako, mga bading. Tse!)

Wow, writing about this actually helped. I have a good number of realizations from just reading what I wrote above. Cute!


***

So there, I deserve a break. I need to get away from all the noise I've sparked in my head. Which brings us to this Big Trip to set things in order, to sift through my thoughts, and hopefully to pacify my mind.

I've wanted to visit this place since I was a teenager and it's finally coming true. What did I tell you about dreams? Choz!!!

I began planning the trip late last month, a process that brought me a certain level of stress as well (but it's a fun kind of stress). You know me, I go frantic in planning my trips. I LOOOOVE planning. Buwahahaha. Fuck spontaneity. I prefer traveling efficiently.

For the past few weeks I've been poring the internet for travel trips and so on. Aside from the usual travel websites, I stumbled into many travel blogs, which enormously helped me in planning my trip. It's amazing how many people bother sharing travel tips, which I've always found way too tedious (i.e. what to see, getting there, where to eat/stay, etc.).

I feel like I'm leeching from other people's experiences though without giving back much to the community of travelers like my self. Therefore, I'm planning to write little travel guides of my future trips, starting with the one I'm taking in December.

I did not really intend to come up with a separate blog for that coz I only have about four trips a year. Instead, I'd incorporate my mini travel guides in this blog, and the posts shall be separate from the travel impressions and usual travel churvaloo and campiness I write here. This way, I'm hoping to return the favor to the "community" (whatever that means) who would one way or another stumble into my blog.

Fixated

I've always been proud of being freaking normal, like I'm thisclose to boring. I mean, I would like to believe I'm not manic-depressive, schizophrenic, or antisocial.

Perhaps I have bouts of the disorders I mentioned, like you know, one second I'd feel like I'm Jacqueline Jablonski and the next second I'm Tao Okamoto (that's my version of bi-polarity).

OK, OK, I have my delusions, but tell me, who is not delusional these days, aber?

One time my colleague recommended this quiz on Facebook to test if I have some sort of a psychological disorder. And gosh, I said if it is on Facebook it must be a valid uber scientific test! So off I took the quiz, which surprisingly had about thirty items instead of the usual five questions. I thought, hmmmm, this is more scientific than I initially thought.

Just as I expected, I fell under the boringly normal category, somewhere in the middle of some freaking spectrum... EXCEPT that I have a tendency to be obsessive-compulsive.

Gasp! Finally, I have a claim to some disorder after all! How exciting is that? I would've wanted something more romantic, like I don't know, depression or schizophrenia, which would lead me to do grand works of art or saintly deeds (hello, Joan of Arc?).

Anyway, I reckoned, obsessive-compulsive is not that bad. I can live with that. So I was prompted to do a mayjay self-reflection and soul-searching to see if indeed I have patterns of OCD.

I was doing this grand self-examination while brushing my teeth and intently looking at the timer to make sure I dedicate at least thirty seconds brushing the top of my left-side lower molars before I proceed to the right-side upper molars and so on.

Tanaaaah, epiphany galore!

I checked my toothbrush holder and I saw three toothbrushes that I use everyday. The softest toothbrush in the morning, the mid-soft toothbrush after lunch, and the hard bristles for the evening.

And then I continued further on my self-examination of my supposed OCD while I carefully floss my teeth, making sure I reached the tiniest gaps in my teeth, which was followed by cleaning my tongue with these tongue cleaner thingies, and eventually finishing the whole oral ceremony with exactly fifteen seconds of gargling mouthwash to make sure I have a totally clean mouth.

Wait... I do have to run my tongue around my teeth hoping I did not miss some bits, otherwise I have to brush my teeth even more.

This whole mouth-cleaning routine consumes about twenty minutes each night that God makes. Does that qualify for OCD?

OK, OK, I am quite concerned about having order in my immediate surroundings.

Like, in my bathroom, I make sure that all the bottles of shampoo, body wash, and facial wash have to be white. I do not base the choice of shampoo for instance on whether it gives me bouncy or shiny hair. Fuck that. I just need the freaking bottle to be white to match with the body wash.

And the books on my shelves. Oh my god, where do I start? I arrange them according to size. Nothing annoys me more than a book protruding from among its shelf-mates, in which case, I have to transfer it beside a book of its size. I don't care if the books are not arranged alphabetically or by topic, I just want them neatly standing according to height.

The thing is, I'm not exactly crazy about cleanliness. Like I don't mind dust so much (like I haven't swept my floor since Thaksin was ousted from power) as long as things look neat and in order. My mind could not just be put to rest if things are out of place.

However, the obsession for order does not cut across everything. Like my closet is one big mess (God bless my closet). It's just that I demand more from my books, CDs, and bathroom stuff.

Oh, I'm also constantly crazy about the flat iron. I always think that I forgot to unplug it.

Several times I'd already be at the bus stop and I'd run back to my building, scared out of my wits that my floor is in flames just because I did not unplug the flat iron (only to find out that I did, as always). Or I'd be inside the shower and from out of nowhere I'd panic at the thought that I left the flat iron on so I'd rush outside with just bubbles covering my nipples.

One last thing, I have this obsession with pencils, pens, and notebooks. I only use my Muji pen for my Muji notebook, which I bring with me all the time. I have a notebook and a corresponding pencil beside my bed just in case I need to list something (or someone's name... hihihihihi).

Meanwhile, I love pencils. Let me say that again... I LURV PENCILS. I steal pencils from hotels where I attend meetings... just because. I don't use them though coz I have specific requirements for the ones I use.

I swear by Staedtler 2H for the notepad beside my PC. Nothing else writes on that notepad, puhlease. And then I use a Staedtler 2B for my "work notebook" coz it writes in heavy black that matches my eyes.

Oh, nothing frustrates me more than un-sharpened pencils, BTW. Show me an un-sharpened pencil and I'd die in two seconds flat. At least now you know how to kill me.

The Sharonian

For some reason, I had an 80s day today starting with searching for Claire dela Fuente's Sayang on Youtube. That song is not even 80's, no? It should be something like 70s at least.

Anyway, Sayang led to Sayang na Sayang by Manilyn Reynes and then Tamis ng Unang Halik by Tina Paner, and then eventually Mr Dreamboy by Sherryl Cruz. (The links bring you to the videos.)

Now talk about nostalgia overload!

As a child of the 80s, I totally reveled with these finds.

Searching further, I stumbled into this vintage Sharon Cuneta video singing Here Comes the Rain Again on GMA Supershow. I had a fucking blast watching this video. I swear.

The set's just hilarious. It looks like it's made of Styrofoam or, I don't know, cardboard perhaps? And the flashing bulbs! Girl, it looks like a peryahan, di ba?

Then in comes Sharon in a billowy neon fuchsia dress that completely swallows here up. Actually she's wearing a kind of maternity dress here coz she was pregnant with KC Concepcion then. Pero chica pa rin! Gosh, those shoulder pads! I wonder why they're back in fashion. And the hair, dahling, the hair. Should've cost us the ozone layer to keep them hair stiffly up in the air.

Sharon's very pretty here though. I've always been a Sharonian and I remember I had her single in one of those black discs that you play in a bloody turntable. What do you call them again? In fact one of the pop songs I first learned was Bituing Walang Ningning coz I had her album in a small black thingie. They're called plaka!

It makes me cry every time I see Sharon these days. She looks like a freaking cathedral!

Thank God we still have videos like this to remind us of the good old days of Sharon Cuneta. She was probably the most popular star then. I love it when, courtesy of 80s TV technology, she's made to float over her fans. Classic, di ba?

Here's the video anyway. And do wait for it to end coz no other than German Moreno, the Master Showman ITSELF, will come out to greet Sharon.

Bakla in Motion

Weekend report... in pictures with premier stariray Donita Rose Mary "Baby" Arenas.

Bangkok Arts and Culture Centre

Shopping at a second-hand store in Siam Square.

At Tha Tien market (near Silpakorn Univ and Thammasat Univ).

Old cassette tapes.

Say cheese!

The clavicles are giddy... damn right they're better than yours...

Wang Lang market (across the river).

Some finds at Wang Lang's famed second-hand shops.

Twilight Dancers.

Bulaga!

I Heart Lyka Bergen

It came far and wide.

From San Francisco to Hong Kong (thanks to the erstwhile Czarina of Penang).
From Hong Kong to Manila.
From Manila to Roxas (thanks to Fuchsiaboy).
From Roxas to BangCock.

Ladies and bayots...

I. Died. And I'm talking MAYJAY multiple orgasms here, my sweethearts.

Khorp khum maak kha, Miss Lyka.

It all started with a wish. I just said the three magic words: Up To You.

Remember this post when I threw a wish to the universe? And then a month later Lyka posted this on his blog.... proof that wishes do come true!

Do you recall the Miss Universe song? As his little sister, I wanna sing this now for Miss Lyka...

You are my star
You light my way
You brighten all my nights and make my day...

Like a hope…like a dream
No request, is too extreme
When you wish, upon a star
Your dreams, your dreams come true...

La la la, la la la...

Moving on... look who's in town, bitches?

WTF: Comelec says gay party 'immoral'

Report by Kristine Servando

abs-cbnNEWS.com/Newsbreak.

MANILA - The Commission on Elections (Comelec) on Wednesday rejected Ang Ladlad for party-list accreditation on the grounds that the party advocates "sexual immorality" and "immoral doctrines."

Ang Ladlad is an organization of gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgenders (LGBT).

In a ruling dated November 11, the Comelec said that although the party presented proper documents and evidence for their accreditation, their petition is "dismissable on moral grounds."

Page 5 of the ruling states that Ang Ladlad's definition of the LGBT sector as a marginalized sector who are disadvantaged because of their sexual orientation "makes it crystal clear that the petitioner tolerates immorality which offends religious beliefs."

The document quotes passages from both the Bible and the Koran (taken from internet site www.bible.org) that describe homosexuality as "unseemly" or "transgressive."

The Comelec goes on to state that accrediting Ang Ladlad would pose risks for Filipino youth.

"Should this Commission grant the petition, we will be exposing our youth to an environment that does not conform to the teachings of our faith," the ruling stated.

'Gays are threats to youth'

This statement is followed by a quote by preacher Lehman Strauss published in a website saying "older practicing homosexuals are a threat to the youth."

The Comelec said it is "not condemning" the LGBT community but "cannot compromise the well-being of a great number of people."

The document was signed by Commissioners Nicodemo Ferrer, Lucenito Tagle, and Elias Yusoph.

Ang Ladlad also applied for party-list accreditation in 2007, but was denied this due to the lack of regional membership in the Philippines.

'Painfully obsolete ideas'

Danton Remoto, President of Ang Ladlad, told abs-cbnNEWS.com/Newsbreak in a phone interview that they will contest the Comelec ruling before the Supreme Court.

"This is a decision of painfully old men with painfully obsolete ideas on homosexuality. We are in the 21st century already, we are fighting for human rights. They do not know what they are talking about," he said.

Remoto, who taught literature at the Jesuit-run Ateneo de Manila University for over 20 years, criticized the Comelec's allegation that older homosexuals are threats to the youth.

"How would I have stayed in the country's premier exclusive Catholic school (Ateneo) if I were a threat to the youth?" he stated as an example.

He also took issue against the Comelec ruling's frequent citation of internet-sourced reports, saying that a legal document should at least use primary sourcing. Remoto said this spoke of "intellectual bankruptcy" among Comelec officials.

Remoto said that the Comelec ruling is offensive to the LGBT community and an insult to their human rights.

Comelec spokesman James Jimenez, however, said he does not consider the Comelec's dismissal of Ang Ladlad's petition for party-list accrediation as a human rights issue.

"They might bring it up because they might feel offended of being called immoral. In that case, it's their right to bring whatever action is deemed necessary," he told abs-cbnNEWS.com/Newsbreak in a phone interview.

He added that the right to be voted for is not absolute and is subject to reasonable regulation.

Immoral institution?

Remoto also questioned the Comelec's decision to deny the party's accreditation based on moral and religious reasons since the Constitution provides for separation between the Church and State.

"Since when did the Comelec become a moral arbiter? The Comelec is a state institution, [it is] not the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines," he said.

"The Comelec has no right to make decisions on morality because it is not a moral or religious institution. It is a political institution, and hence, should confine itself to politics," Remoto added.

Jimenez said it is standard for the Comelec to consider what each party-list stands for before accrediting them.

He cited the case of the Samahang Magdalo, a reformist group led by detained mutineers, who were denied party-list accreditation on the grounds that they "advocated violence."

The Ang Ladlad is requesting help from the Ateneo Human Rights Center in filing a motion for reconsideration before the Comelec, before raising the issue to the Supreme Court, where Remoto believes the party may have "some hope."

All is not lost for Remoto and his crusade for LGBT rights, however, since he announced plans to run for Senator in 2010 "under a big political party." He will make a formal announcement in 2 weeks.

Should the Comelec approve his candidacy, he will be the first openly gay senatorial candidate in recent history.

Link from abs-cbnnews.com.

Liwayway's Birthday

Obligatory weekend report... if it's not too late yet.

Last Sunday was the 20th birthday of uber girl friend Ms Liwayway... one more year and she can legally drink alcohol.

But wait, doesn't she look 17? I swear, the concierge at the cinema still asks for her ID whenever we watch R-18 movies. I'm sooo not joking. I wish Liwayway would one day tell me what her beauty secret is.

But really, I have an idea. Liwayway consistently has the most positive disposition. I have many friends who are naturally sunny but she is simply on top of the list. And she has this child-like exuberance that's totally infectious. Don't we just wish there are more of her around us?

Let's go back to the weekend... Liwayway brought Bubbles and me to a restaurant near Asok. The place is called Crepes and Company (I'm not exactly certain) and it's set in a small, pretty garden brimming with... plants, what else?

Fortunately, Liwayway reserved a table outdoor, which was probably hard to get on a Sunday. The place is packed, I tell you. And there were gazillions of these little human-looking creatures running and screaming and crying all over the place. What do you call them again?

Otherwise, the restaurant was a very pleasant escape. It felt like we were not in the middle of the madness of Sukhumvit.

The crepes of course were the highlight of the afternoon (well, except for the company, needless to say). I don't really remember what we ordered; I guess I had something called Casablanca or some title of a black and white film.

And while Liwayway and I had another set of crepes for dessert, Bubbles dug deep into his ginormous serving of banana split. I crossed my self and prayed to the Virgin Mother when I saw that heap of sugar landing in front of Bubbles.

Apres lunch Bubbles and I went to Central World for some window shopping. I love window shopping with him coz he always stops me whenever I attempt to buy something (although I did insist on buying a polka dot bag last Sunday).

And then we stopped by Siam Square to visit a couple of galleries. At White Space, one of my favorite galleries in town, we found this exhibit of paintings wherein the artist used his own blood as medium. I love it!!!

So there that's my weekend report (looking straight at you, Gibo...).

I'm seriously occupied at the office this week and for the rest of the month so my posts would either be very brief or sporadic. I'm on Twitter though and that's where my whining and campiness will be posted for the meantime. My account is @GirardPhilip.

Also, I'm looking forward to the visit of La Fuchsiaboy this Friday... straight from Las Islas Filipinas where he presented his latest collection.

I'm expecting yet another shopping marathon this weekend (at least for Fuchsiaboy).

No. I'm not going to spend... that's my mantra for this month. I'm like saving for this two-week trip in December and that's where all my energy and money are going.

Must-Watch: 9 Songs and XXY

I had one major movie weekend and so I want to share two of the more remarkable films I saw the past two days.

9 Songs (2004) is one of those random movies I downloaded via torrent and it turned out to be surprisingly compelling.

It does not help of course that it is the most sexually explicit mainstream movies I've seen EVER (and that includes In the Realm of the Senses, which I also previewed this weekend). I'm talking about all the way sex here and the only thing that separates this film from real porno is that the former has beautiful cinematography and an intelligent story.

9 Songs is intimate, there's a poetry to their love-making. Watching the two lovers spend their time in bed feels very voyeuristic. Read more about the movie on its IMDB entry here.

Here's the trailer...

I also watched XXY (2007), an Argentinian movie about a 15-year old hermaphrodite, Alex, living in a secluded village in Uruguay. One day they get a visit from a doctor, who comes together with his wife and teenage son. The latter witnesses Alex as she discovers her sexuality and how her condition clashes with the people in the village.

The acting in the film is superb overall, but standing out is Ines Efron who portrays Alex.

The film could've been told in a more conventional manner, i.e. freak faces a harsh world. However, this is where the film excels because it chose to be very subtle, focusing instead on how Alex's family deals with her "disorder" (if I may call it as such).

This is definitely one of the best movies I've seen this year and I strongly encourage you to check it for your self.

To know more about the film, you may refer to its IMDB entry.

Dear Santa...

It's been rather chilly here in BKK the past couple of days... and chilly means 22 degrees in the evening. Brrr...

If anything, the cool weather reminds me that Christmas is fast approaching and for sure Las Islas Filipinas is deep into the holidays already, at least starting September, di ba mga kababayan?

Christmas is so not my thing. It just does not go with my skin tone.

But then, I love receiving gifts, who doesn't, non? And since I know Santa Claus reads my blog, instead of sending him a letter to the North Pole, I might as well post my wish list here. I'm writing this early so he has enough time to pack them and send them to BKK.

Dear Santa, I know I've been a good boy this year. I have not been eating carbs since June and I have been refusing plastic bags from Seven-Eleven. Don't you think I merit a larger loot from you this year?

Santa, I really, really insist that you give me these stuff on Christmas day. I would even put up a Christmas tree this year so you'd know where to place the gifts when you visit my little room in the attic next month.

Now let's start, shall we, Santa? Do you have a pen and paper with you all ready?... Game!

A Canon G10. I heard they're releasing the G11 sometime next year, so if you can get it in advance please do so. I mean, try using your influence. You're Santa Fucking Claus after all.
One year subscription of Vogue Paris, Italian Vogue, American Vogue, i-D, Arena Homme Plus, Les Officiel Hommes, Dazed and Confused, Time Magazine, and Newsweek. Hmmm... Why don't you make that a three-year subscription so I don't have to bother you with this wish next year?

A Vespa... in black. Ciao!
Hope in a Jar... coz Oprah said so. Hmmm, make that a dozen bottles coz I don't want to ask it from you next year.
An air ticket to India... round trip of course. And no, Santa, I don't fly budget airlines. Like, HALER???

And if you can add a two-week stay in some ten-star hotel there, I would not mind of course. I'm like so tired of being a backpacker, you know.

An air ticket to Brazil. I haven't visited my home for... I don't know, I've lost count of the years.

I know it sounds like human trafficking, if not white slavery, but if you can add a Brazilian-Japanese into the package, well, I promise not to feed him carbs. Wait, make that two Brazilian-Japanese so that they can play with each other when I'm not around, no?