Gay Classic

Let's walk down memory lane, shall we?

Remember Crucified by Army of Lovers?

Lookie, lookie!!! This has yet to be the GAYEST video ever.

Libog Blues

I never thought the day would come when I'd refuse an outright invitation to have sex with this uber sexy Thai guy I met at a Silom bar. Let's call him Jack. I've seen him in the club on several occasions before and damn, he's gawgeous. Fucking gawgeous. But then he's always at some distance from me, I would just satisfy my self with stealing glances at him and his other equally hot friends.

A couple of nights ago, courtesy of the endless shoving of people in the bar, I found Jack inches from where I stood. Our eyes met, he smiled, I had an orgasm (charing!). We held hands and danced. Several times his hands would grab parts of my body I would not dare mention here. The introductions came later, which is often the case in these kinds of encounters anyway. More minutes of dancing and touching passed, and then he whispered that he's going home.

"I want you to come with me," he said.

"I can't."

He gave me that cute pleading look.

"I just can't, I'm sorry," I replied.

He smiled and left, with me muttering to my self, "Shet sayang! Shet, shet, sheeeeet!!!"

When the Pranses left for the holidays, I was at a quandary over what we really are. I reckoned we have something going on but still nothing serious enough to stop me from seeing other men. Saw other men I did! In the course of the past three weeks, I met two former "dates", and definitely these are innocuous meetings. Coffee, dinner, movie. There were instances when things tread dangerous territory but I've successfully managed to pull away from all the kalibugan, thank God. Also, with the frequency of my visits to gay clubs lately, I constantly find my self avoiding having eye contact with men for fear that things would go out of control. OK, a transgression was made a couple of nights back. But in all other cases, I simply danced my night to exhaustion.

PJ says I'm sort of stupid to let hedonistic opportunities go unexploited. If I do otherwise, I am not in any way violating my so-called "relationship" with the Pranses coz he and I do not have any relationship to speak of. Maybe PJ is right. Maybe this is my inner drama queen kicking in yet again.

All I really want is to look the Pranses straight in the eye when he comes back. Fuck, that Pranses better be worth all these bloody sacrifices.

Judgment Day

So it's the time of the year again when one evaluates the 12 months that's about to close, a thing that I'm not exactly fond of. Most of the time I regard my so-called annual commitments a huge disaster. This obviously is the case this year based on how miserably I failed in pursuing my "perspectives" and "fundamentals" for 2007 (rolls eyes!). Or did I?

Just to review, below are my 2007 commitments and their respective self-evaluation. Just like in the university, I'd give my self a grade, with 5 as the failing grade, 3 as passing the grade, and with 1 as the highest mark.

De-center. Think more about other people.

Hmm... this is a tough one. I certainly listened more to my friends without my usual judgmental eye. My relationship with my sister reached all-time high. My friendships likewise flourished by choosing to maintain the old connections and giving birth to new ones. So I can give my self a rating of 2 because still I think I need to be more intensive in knowing people rather than just meeting them.

Share. Give. Bridge. Reach out.

An absolute 5! No fucking doubt about it. (What was I thinking when I made this commitment though, that I was in the Miss Universe?) I could not remember me giving out to charity this year, much less volunteer in anything remotely cause-oriented, unless it is MY cause of course. I should concede that this has yet to be my most selfish year ever. No Nobel Prize for me yet.

Be thankful. Complaining gets me nowhere.

Whining has always been very tempting instead of looking at the bright side of things. If I review my posts for 2007, I bemoaned about boredom at work and with life in general. I also lambasted my self for not getting the scholarships I vied for. Several times I vented my frustration over the lack of excitement in my life, whatever I meant by that. The second half of the year was better for me though. I moved to another city, got a new job, and met amazing people. All these I'm definitely thankful for. With half of the year spent on complaining and another half spent on being grateful for the opportunities landing my way, I will give my self a passing grade of 3.

Appreciate rather than criticize.

Hmmm... I cannot remember what I meant by this, hence I shall skip this particular commitment for now.

Be curios so I'd discover more

I maintained my passion for expanding my knowledge this year. When it comes to reading, I ventured into history, economics, and sociology. I now belong to an organization whose field is not my specialization, I was thus motivated to discover another subject of thought. Moving to another country also piqued my curiosity on Southeast Asia in general, a topic that I feel I hardly know about and I'm bent on fastly grasping its dynamic culture and history. Meanwhile, being just adventurous in say discovering the city has helped me in boundless ways to understand and appreciate the nuances of this complex urban landscape and its inhabitants. Traveling has also broadened my horizons about the experiences of other people and I plan to do more of that in 2008. For this criteria therefore, I'd give my self a 1.

Honesty has always been the best policy.

Oh, no doubt I will give my self a high mark on this (charing!). I continue to believe and practice honesty to my self and to other people, so I'd deserve a 1 (charing talaga!).

Reflect. Improve self-awareness. Listen more to my heart.

Another tricky one. Of course I'm self-aware coz I'm perpetually selfish anyway. But how that self-awareness has brought me anywhere is another question. Especially the line: listen to my heart (gasp!). Well, reflection is something I regularly do, in particular when I'm confused or frustrated. Introspection helps me calm me down. While there are no major breakthroughs this year, keeping the habit of self-reflection and awareness was good enough, therefore I shall give my self a 2.

Balance: planning vs. taking risks.

For the first half of the year I was obsessed with planning. It seemed I had a clear vision of my self, that of studying in Europe. Slowly these plans crumbled as caused by my laziness or pure katangahan. Sigh. But then the opportunity of working and living abroad came my way, and this definitely were not part of my plans. Just the same, I took the risk, thinking what do I have to lose anyway? Indeed it was a risk worth taking. I still could not believe how lucky I am right now, and I could only be very thankful.

If only I have the same bravado for taking risks in love as well. But 2008 holds a lot of promise, so you better watch out, bitch.

A 2 for this criteria.

There is no there way other than self-improvement.

Oh, so how does one measure self-improvement? The important thing is, it gives me comfort that despite the roller coaster ride that was 2007, I matured in countless ways and indeed ready for the next year. But still, since maturity is a long process I'm giving my self an INCOMPLETE.

Broken Sky

While roaming around the blogsphere I found a short review of Broken Sky (Mexico) in this interesting blog find called On Hedonism.

I checked Youtube for some clips, which I am sharing below. You have to watch this three-minute trailer and please note of the deeply moving music. This certainly put a smile on my face and hopefully on yours as well.

Below is an extended and equally fascinating (and more sexy) 9 minute clip.

I wonder if I can find the DVD in Silom?

I Think We Know Each Other

For such a humongous city like Bangkok, replete with hundreds of gay clubs, I am quite disturbed that I'm starting to collide paths with my past "dates" (I can't help putting the quotation marks). And I've only been here for less than five months ha. I don't want to believe that I've been such a serial dater, if I may use the term. In fact, by the standards of gay men in Bangkok (mainly my perception), my dating life has been pretty drab. I can still certainly count with my fingers the guys I've went out with. But still I'm baffled how in the world I start bumping into them.

Until now I don't know how to react when I meet one. Probably I can say something like...

-- Hi H, remember me? We went out once, some months ago. You said you'd call and obviously you didn't.

That just sounds so bitter, don't you think?

How about...

-- Oh hi! So who's that bastard wrapped in your arms tonight? Does he know what a lousy kisser you are? I hope you have fun together though.

Bitter pa rin!

Or better yet, I can just French kiss the nearest guy beside me to show the ex-"date" that I'm still having the time of my life.

The sad fact is, a nice friendship did not just come out from among these ex-"dates". I'm still grappling with the fact that one should not expect from some bastard you met in a bar, who, like my self, is just there to have fun.

**


So in anticipation of another weekend imposed with an alcohol ban (starting tonight), PJ and I went to Lang Suan to have our dose of alcohol for the week. Last night was already our second night out, having went out last Tuesday as well. On both occasions, the bars were packed, which we thanked on the alcohol ban. So yesterday PJ and I dropped by for the first time in this all-Thai bar, and we were totally floored by the sea of knock-out gay men crammed in such a small space! By now, me enthusing on Thai men is such a cliche, but I couldn't fucking help it, right?

My problem however with these all-Thai gay clubs is the horrendous music. Since I started going to these places five months ago, they still play the same bloody Thai club music that everybody seems to excitedly dance to. The worst thing is they have such an outdated line-up of Western music, such as a remix of... Nothing's Gonna Change My Love for You. Punyetashet talaga!

At 1 a.m., PJ and I moved to a popular gay club in Silom, where the music is a bit better at least and where the drinks are way cheaper. There I saw H, an American that I went out with on my first month here. He was dragging towards the exit what looked like a 12 year old boy. Our eyes met for a second there, but I don't think he still recognized me coz I had since cut my hair. I would've wanted to chat with him but I simply didn't know what to say.

And the night continued.

I believe I've managed to figure out the zones of the club. In general, you find most of the Westerners on the second floor, hounded by an overflowing array of money-boys. PJ and I call it the meat market. It's a fun place to be when one is out to watch a spectacle of ensnarement. Meanwhile, the first floor, where we mostly stay, is stuffed with locals and a few Westerners lurking on the periphery. There's hardly any space on the first floor, and one is mostly gobbled by the unrestrained churning of gorgeous, intoxicated gay men.

Photo Credit: View Images

Whoa!

Oh. My. Gawd! OMFG!

Well, well, well... look who was featured on Pinoy Gay Blogs?

"What strikes me most about the blog is definitely the quality of his writing paired with the very tasteful images that accompany most of the articles."

"Girard definitely feels like someone I’d love to meet in person, at least based on his writing and you may feel similarly as well after you’ve read a decent number of his entries."

Read the full review here.

Kumusta naman di ba? I did not expect this, I swear! I'm flattered but humbled at the same time.

Thanks Rocky, who wrote the review and also posted the same on his blog.

A Pre-Christmas Dinner

Chicken and Salmon Combo at Pepper Lunch
L and I had our pre-Christmas dinner last night at Central World, perhaps my favorite mall in Bangkok. We were supposed to go Vietnamese but the restaurant was quite a walk from the mall. So instead we settled with Pepper Lunch, which I read about in Cecil Zamora's blog (Cecil actually got the Manila franchise of the said chain). Since I hardly eat beef, I had the scrumptious chicken and salmon combo. As usual, I don't have any opinion about the food at all.

L and I had a long chat about a variety of topics, mostly the politics back home. I always look forward to these moments with L coz it's a chance for us to update ourselves of the news back home and exchange opinions about the circus that is Pinoy politics.

As a Christmas gift, L gave me a CD of the soundtrack of French Kiss (wink, wink, wink!).

After dinner and tea, L and I went outside Central World to gawk at the humongous Christmas tree. Who said, Christmas is not celebrated in Bangkok? In fact, with the King's birthday also celebrated in December, the lights set up for the occasion can also serve as Christmas decors (it depends who's looking at them). But in general, the malls have caught up with the Christmas spirit: Santa Claus, reindeers, and all.

Lights at Rachadamnoen Avenue for the King's birthday celebrations

Christmas at Central World
So there, I did not escape Christmas this year, although it's less garish here in Bangkok. Christmas has never been my favorite holidays, on the other hand, I have to admit that I do miss how Pinoys celebrate this season: the over-the-top decorations, the commercialism, and the endless parties especially.

By the way, L is going home to Bulacan tomorrow. D left for Manila a couple of nights back and PJ is flying to Seoul this weekend. Oh my, this might be another Christmas spent alone, just like last year when I decided to head for the cold mountains. Until now I have no concrete plans for the holidays yet and with hardly a week left I'm desperately looking for someone to spend Christmas eve with.

Anybody reading this and who's in Bangkok on Christmas eve... please, I don't mind being invited.

Dead Air

Last night, PJ and I had the most eerie experience while walking in Khao San Road, Bangkok's backpacking capital. At 11 p.m., the usually rowdy street full of people from all walks of life and from various parts of the globe, was silent. No blasting music from the bars, no drunken revelry, and pretty much the whole street was deserted by Khao San Road standards on a Friday night. Most of the food hawkers and stalls selling clothes even folded their wares much earlier in the evening.

Next week being Thailand's national elections, an alcohol ban was imposed for this weekend and the next. I suppose the relative tranquility we found in Khao San is also reflected in the major party areas such as Silom and Sukhumvit, which is very very rare in Bangkok. PJ and I had to scrap our plan of going to a gay bar tonight and we are opting to have coffee somewhere instead. Such a bummer, don't you think? And to think it's fucking Christmas!

Anyway, to continue the story, PJ and I ended up in a straight bar in the corner of Khao San and Samsen, where we settled for some fruit juice. All the usual characters are there, mostly the backpacker crowd of course. I honestly could not remember the last time I've been in a straight bar. I had no idea how to conduct my self in such places. I panicked when, on a ledge behind me, a petite woman started swinging her hips like she had a colony of termites in her panties. I quickly dragged PJ out of the bar and we decided to call it a night.

***

Two nights ago, the Pranses and I met for some coffee and we were still talking about the wonderful trip to Cambodia. Coffee was followed by watching a film and then some quick dinner. Last night he flew back home for the holidays. It's the start of three agonizing weeks without him. I can't be more sad.

Damn, this is what I'm talking about. All the drama. I can't handle them. But in fairness to my self, I'm relatively doing fine with restraining my self from getting too attached with the Pranses, although this is terribly difficult coz he is such an adorable person. I hope I can keep this act longer.

We'd Always Have Angkor

The problem with taking a long trip is writing about it. It's definitely very challenging to cramp in everything that happened in a chronological order without sounding verbose and prosaic about doing this and that, seeing so and so, etc. So for this trip, I just want to instead highlight random impressions of the whole experience, and here it goes.

1.) The parts that I saw of Cambodia were dusty. Red, gray, orange, yellow dust. It permeates everything, I can even feel it between my teeth. Also, I've never seen a place so flat. Unimpeded fields and fields of rice spanning all the way to the horizon, as far as the eyes can see. Another exciting thing about Cambodia is the money. It has the riel as the official currency. But in Siem Reap, one can use the US dollar, the Thai baht, and the Cambodian riel of course. However, the currency of choice is the US dollar. All the prices in the restaurants and the convenience stores are in dollars. One time I paid for a bottle of water using Thai baht and was given some change in US dollars and riel. It couldn't be more crazy than that.


2.) Mass tourism has crept all over Siem Reap, from uber swanky hotels to rundown guesthouses. Most businesses are obviously oriented towards the tourism industry, including travel agencies, restaurants (which are surprisingly tastefully decorated by the way), bicycle rental shops, etc. Of course they could not help it coz the country's biggest attraction is found in this town, but then I could not help but wonder if the authorities could somehow manage the chaos, especially the construction boom, to maintain its quaint atmosphere.


3.) Speaking of mass tourism, one cannot avoid the tour groups. They are fucking everywhere! It does not help of course that I went during the height of the tourist season. At some point my sole concern was actually getting away from them, which seems futile because they're always looming nearby in their uniform umbrellas, noisy guides, and corny hats. When caught in the stampede of tour groups, one would be drowned in the noise of dozens of cameras clicking and the endless stream of people posing in front of a particular edifice or bass reliefs.





4.) The ruins of Angkor are definitely worth the hype. They're majestic, mesmerizing, and surreal. Angkor Wat itself was underwhelming, for some reason I have yet to figure out. But Bayon (the temple with larges Buddha faces) and Ta Phrom (famed for the huge roots hugging the ruins) are two of my most favorite sites. If walking around them in their ruined state is already a staggering experience, one can only wonder how it was during the height of their civilization.




5.) But then, one can only have enough of them ruins. My friend and I were mesmerized on the first day, trying to capture the details, oooohing and aaaahing over the intricate carvings and how the huge rocks were piled to achieve such exquisite structures. The second day was less exciting coz we felt we're quite familiar with some of the features already. But on the third day, we simply took quick visits to the ruins as they were becoming way all too monotonous... same balusters, same deities, same Buddhas, same old heaps and blocks of sandstones and whatnot. That's just us of course, and for some people their reaction might be way different... why don't we ask the tour groups?


6.) One of the best ways to see Angkor is by bicycle. While on our first day we rented a tuk-tuk coz we first visited the farther temples, on the second and last day we opted to rent bicycles instead. This is a good choice for transport coz we were able to enjoy more the scenery and take in as much of nature as we can. On the second day, we must have covered around 8 kms and roughly 15 kms on the third day. That was yet the most distance I've done on a bicycle and right now my bums hurt. The downside to riding the bicycles is that one can only move at a certain pace and therefore we covered less temples than we initially intended.

7.) The highlight of my Angkor trip is not only seeing a place I've wanted to visit all my life, but experiencing it all with perhaps one of the most wonderful persons I've ever met. Sigh.

Yun lang po. Bow.

Angkor at Last!

Lookie, lookie, who just came back from five days of the most amazing holiday EVAR?

An account of the trip is coming in the next few days.

Pics can be seen here and here.

Picnic at Lumphini

Yesterday was the King's birthday, and so it was a holiday. While most Bangkokians trooped to the Dusit area (where the royal palace grounds are), we chose to have a picnic in Lumphini Park on the other side of town.

The gathering was organized by D and after a number of confirmations and subsequent cancellations only seven people were present, a couple of foreigners and five Filipinos. It was a nice afternoon in the park, eating chips and exchanging gossip. Hehehehe.

D had with him his camera and what else is there to do but camwhore? I chose to block the eyes of the other folks to protect their privacy (choz!), but I hope you still appreciate the pics anyway.

Fun in Siam

Weekend report...

Friday evening I went out with PJ and D to watch Beowulf at Central World. The film is ok, nothing much in fact. We three campiness had a ball (pun intended) trying to take a peek at the family jewels of Beowulf while he was fighting that monster. Unfortunately, cups, swords, and columns were strategically placed to block any sighting. Damn.

After the movie, PJ and I walked all the way to Luang Suang to have some drinks at this almost-purely-Thai gay place. It was a cramped evening and all the gorgeous men were in full force. What can be more perfect than that? Strangely enough, I caught sight of my first date in Bangkok (some four months ago). He and I chatted up a bit and I heard all the usual lies. The Pranses caught up with us at the bar... and of course I could not be more than ecstatic to see him. God, who knew he's such a good dancer pala? Plus points right there.

Right before 2 a.m. the Pranses and I moved to Silom where the crowd was even thicker: money boys, sex tourists, serious clubbers, friends, lovers, muscle Marys... the whole breadth of the gay rainbow in BKK was aptly represented. The Pranses and I found a spot in the midst of the chaos. Shortly before the bar closed, we moved to a 24-hour coffee shop to chat.

Saturday afternoon I went to the Chatuchak weekend market to buy a back pack for Angkor (yipeeee!), some sandals, shirts, and a pouch. Later in the evening I went to PJ's house to watch the tepid Miss World 2007, which Miss China eventually won.

Sunday morning I had to visit the hospital for some check-up coz I was developing some nasty colds, cough, and sore throat. I'm currently taking a cocktail of medicines but at least I feel way better.

From the hospital I was off to Big C to watch Love in Siam, a film that had been getting a lot of buzz because of its gay teenage love theme. Of course I was looking forward to it but was utterly disappointed to find a really dragging story. I did not even bother to finish it. [Today I heard my two colleagues raving about the film.]

When I got home I got a call from the Pranses and we agreed to meet in Khao San Road where we eventually had some drinks. I brought him to nearby Phra Athit park where we basked in the cool (oh I love BKK's COLD weather now) river breeze and with the magnificent Rama VIII Bridge looming nearby. This was followed by dinner in a restaurant across the park.

OMG, the Pranses is something. I love our conversations, he's funny and such a genius at the same time. I swear our babies would be the next Einsteins. For some reason we started talking about the stock exchange and offshore companies. Damn, I hardly understood what he was talking about but all I needed to do was stare at his deep eyes and drool. Again, I swear our babies would have very deep eyes, accentuated with the most amazing pout on earth. And oh, he has this cute accent that is a mix of French, Thai, and Chinese. Ok, tama na. Basta.

Sigh.