Rainbow Coalition

For most of my life I only have a handful gay friends with whom I'm very close. I can think of two, but I would not even say that I had the chance to know them inside out. On the other hand, and for some strange reason, I have several really, really intimate female (usually older) friends who either became my personal fag hag, life guru, surrogate mother, or all of these rolled into one. Ironically, I did not have any gay barkada of my own (although that has changed recently). Having been secluded from the rest of the gay crowd, I feel that I hardly know how the rest of my brethren live.

Since a couple of years ago, reading gay-authored blogs from around the world opened me to the complex and varied lives of gay men. A lot of these blogs I closely follow (see my links called Rainbow Coalition) so I can borrow their plethora of experiences and hopefully derive some insights from them.

Reading the gay blogs, I realized my inadequate comprehension of gay men, thus stirring my resolve to meet more members of the coalition. Bangkok is a good place to do that coz there are certainly numerous gay men around the city (ugh, what an understatement!). Over the previous weekend I met three very fascinating gay men who somehow challenged my views on the lives of gay men.

Gay Man #1: Mr. Ampalaya
Why?: Bitter cya.
Nationality: Thai
Age: 28
Striking line: "I'm not allowing men to hurt me again."

This is a classic example of a young gay man who had been around the dating scene for quite some time and apparently had been deceived and hurt several times before (maybe way too much?). The succession of heartbreaks led him to fortify himself with a solid wall around him. He dates but supposedly has sworn off any chance at love altogether.

Ang sa akin lang naman: Snap out of it, dear.

Gay Man #2: Mr. Painter
Why?: Eh he's a painter, what can I do?
Nationality: American
Age: He said he's twice my age (I'm 19 years old BTW)
Striking line: "You can't find anyone like him."

Mr. Painter used to be married. He's living in Bangkok for the past two years with his Thai boy friend, who markets his art for him. Apparently they're very happy. He swoons at the thought that his BF is there every time he wakes up, which I agree is the sweetest thing on earth. Mr. Painter thinks that BF and him are in this forever.

Ang sa akin lang naman: All the best to you, love.

Gay Man #3: Mr. Daddy
Why?: He is the father of two kids.
Nationality: Pinoy
Age: 29
Striking line: "At least may uuwian ako kahit sino mang lalake ang iiwan sa akin."

And I thought I will not be shocked anymore coz Mr. Daddy looks like the regular parlorista in the kanto, only more skinny and pretty. He got married when he was 18 and since then has fathered a couple of children; his wife knows he is gay (like how can he hide it if he could not leave the house without make-up?). He currently works in Bangkok to support his kids, and dates men on the side (of course).

Ang sa akin lang naman: Weeeerrrrrrk it girl!

If anything, I realized it's very difficult to pigeon hole gay men. Attempting to do that is even outright unfair. In the end, gay men live our lives the best way we could, just like most people. For Mr. Ampalaya, he finds comfort in rejecting opportunities at love. For Mr. Painter, bliss is a shot at everlasting love. For Mr. Daddy, his children gives him a sense of security.

Photo credit: jtv4u.com

Some Touristy Stuff

On my second day in Bangkok (six months ago), my officemate took me around the old quarter of the city, which has the Grand Palace as its centerpiece. However, at that time we did not have the chance to go inside its walls, instead, she brought me to Bangkok's shining malls. From then on, I've always wanted to visit the Grand Palace but had been deferring it for the longest time. When my college classmate C and her BF visited last weekend, I acted as their tour guide, a pretty ironic thing coz it was obviously my first time there as well.

On a regular weekend most of the palace complex's visitors are tourists. When we visited however, it was overflowing with black-clad Thais paying respects to the The King's sister, who died earlier this month and whose body rests in one of the buildings inside the Grand Palace. This made navigating the huge complex doubly difficult as we had to jostle with locals and tourists alike. Still it did not reduce the sense of awe that we had over the intricate details of the various temples and palaces crammed inside the walls of the complex. If anything, the Grand Palace is a testament to the creativity of the Thai people, probably motivated by their dedication to their King and religion.

(Major camwhoring ahead.)








For lunch we went al fresco in one of the street-side food stalls near the river. Scrumptious and definitely cheap!


Our next stop was the Reclining Buddha in Wat Pho, one of Bangkok's most-visited temples. The Reclining Buddha is the second largest Buddha in Thailand. And when I say large, I mean gigantic!



Crossing the river, we went to Wat Arun, my third time to visit the landmark.


From there, we squeezed ourselves in the Khao San Road crowd for a bit of shopping. To cap the long, exhausting day we had some relaxing Thai massage.

Chronicles

So a bit of blog silence the past days. Honestly, there's not just enough material to write about during weekdays, whereas weekends are usually more eventful for me. Like I'm already anticipating a "fully booked" (I cringe at the pretentiousness of the term I simply need the quotation marks) weekend. I'm planning a major post next week about what is yet again some touristy activities in the coming days.

Speaking of material, there's really a lot to write about my blossoming, ehem, dating life. Let me just say that things are moving quite well (such an understatement right there). Of course I couldn't be more excited. But then, in the interest of privacy (his and mine), I'm not going to make that part of my life available for public consumption (and it's not that a lot of people read this blog anyway). I wish I'm more of a tell-all person, but I really don't have enough gumption to squeal about such a sensitive and special topic.

Still I couldn't help having this strong compulsion to write about these exciting times, so I decided to create another blog dedicated to my, ehem, dating life. I'm keeping it for my personal consumption though because the main objective is to record and track my feelings as I go along. And you know, for the sake of preserving our memories na rin. Kumbaga, dear diary ang drama. Emote ng schoolgirl, no?

Damn, I now remember those journals I kept when I was going through similar periods. Just the same, I was possessed with chronicling all the bliss and drama, and until now I savor every corny sentence I wrote. Clearly, I value these journals, which preserve all my major kabaklaan and katangahan and kagagahan in the raw. I wonder how I'd react to this current private blog when I read them years from now. So despite the seeming lull in the entries, it does not mean that life has become humdrum. On the contrary, my days have never been this exciting.

Photo credit: Conventry Gang Show

Synchronized

While walking around Central World last Saturday night with the Pranses, he asked what time it was on my watch. I gave him the time on my cellphone. We both realized that his time was about 14 minutes late to mine, which pretty much explained why I always arrive early when we arrange a rendezvous. Right there he adjusted the time setting on his cellphone to exactly synchronize with mine.

Me blushes.

Photo credit: Free Download Center

Shelf Life: Vacuum Packed

"Every experience seems to be merging into one, leaving the meaningless pattern of something not even as significant as a one-night stand," thus Craig realized when hunting around Babylon, the (in)famous Bangkok gay sauna cum hotel, which is touted as the "Disneyland of sex".

On the other side of the world, upon entering yet another London gay bar, Jamie realizes that "It was like some bad movie on a permanent loop - go to a bar; get drunk; go to a club; get high; pick up; maybe have sex; throw them out at lunchtime; nap all afternoon and prepare for Saturday night where he'd maybe take two pills instead of one; home Sunday morning and sleep all day."

Vacuum Packed by Bangkok-based journalist Robin Newbold follows the lives of ex-lovers Craig and Jamie as they struggle with the alienation of gay life. Craig, having recently known that he is HIV positive, flies to Thailand where he meets other sex tourists who, like him, is drawn to the exotic wonders of Bangkok, Pattaya, and Kho Samui. While going through a line of scantily clad boys in Soi Twilight, Craig noted, that "what was great in such a fantasy land... was that whatever you wanted you got, provided someone didn't get to him first." On the other hand, Jamie indulges in the excess and vanity of the gay life in London, basking in his beauty, and eventually gripped by the gay porn industry.

What follows is a raw and deeply moving account of the alienation that both characters feel while actively consuming the superficial - hence, vacuum packed - thrills of life. Behind this flashy exterior is their need to escape the emptiness gnawing them inside. One finds a way out and the other ends his quest tragically.

The book gives hard blows on the realities of the excess of gay life and whether it ultimately leads anywhere but more gloom. The strange thing is, one might be sort of critical of the vacuous side of the gay subculture, but one is incessantly drawn to it - the string of one-night stands, the endless partying, the vanity, the egocentricity, etc. It is easy to get drowned, and the book, without necessarily imposing any judgments on anybody, perhaps helps us realize that. I certainly recommend this book, and be prepared to be dazzled while reading it and do some reflection afterwards.

Photo credit: Amazon

Thonburi Walking Tour

The past few weeks I've been spending sooooo much time on debauchery and I felt that I need some respite from all that. So last weekend I invited L, PJ, and the Pranses on a walking tour of Thonburi, which is Thailand's old capital, just across the Chao Phraya River. Because I take the river boat quite often, I've always been curious about the interesting temples and churches that line the bank of the Thonburi side. Luckily, I found this recommended walking tour that plots some fascinating sites not usually found in the conventional guide books.

We began our tour by taking the Choao Phraya Express Boat to the Memorial Bridge. It was then my first time to walk across the river, indeed a different perspective to observe the bustling waterway.



A few twisted alleys from the bridge led us to the Princess Mother Memorial Park, an oasis in the middle of the narrow and cramped neighborhood of shophouses. Around the said park is Kuan Ou, a Chinese-style shrine perched on the edge of the river.



Our next stop was Wat Prayoon. The wat (temple) is very typical of most Thai temples save for the humongous chedi/stupa that looms over the complex.



More narrow sois later, we found the Santa Cruz Church. PJ, a devout Catholic, was pretty excited for the visita iglesia, he even brought a veil (as in!). OK, it was a sarong. Disappointingly, the doors of the church were closed. It was very fascinating how they put the picture of the King on the facade of the church, along with the national and royal flags. I've never seen anything like it.


Our next stop was Wat Kalayanamit, a riverside wat that has a huge, and I mean fucking ginormous, Buddha statue. It was the most humongous indoor Buddha statue I've ever seen, although I heard there are far more larger ones than this. It's unbelievable really. Together with a number of worshipers, PJ and L did some of those fortune sticks thingie at the foot of the image.

Check this picture of me in front of the Buddha. Can anybody tell me which is shinier: the Buddha statue or me? Doesn't my face look shimmering, shining, and splendid (rolls eyes)? Note to self: oiliness is next to ugliness.


Outside the wat, is the jetty where a flock pigeons permanently reside. We had a blast feeding them and chasing them crazy all over the place. (Thanks to PJ for the shot below.)


Wat Arun (The Temple of Dawn) was actually not in the agenda, but since we realized that it's just a short walk away from the temple, we decided to drop by the famed Bangkok landmark anyway. I had been there previously on a rainy day, and indeed it was worth visiting again the place during sunset. The river scene could not be more than resplendent, especially if one looks to the large expanse that is the Bangkok side of the Chao Phraya River. We were clearly mesmerized by the view from Wat Arun, the temple guards had to literally drive us away with their whistles a few minutes before closing time.




Crossing back to the other side of the river, we had dinner at one of the sidewalk food stalls at the jetty near the Grand Palace. After a long chit chat session, we walked towards the usual Saturday evening frenzy in Khao San Road where we had some drinks before we finally went home exhausted.

By any measure, I had a great time that day although I don't know exactly how much UV rays touched my skin during such a hot afternoon.

Shelf Life: Southeast Asian Authors

Last night I finally finished two books that had been on my bedside table for a couple of weeks. I've been reading them alternately and since I realized I have a huge book backlog I decided to get over them immediately.

It just happened that both books are by Southeast Asian writers, one from the Philippines and the other from Thailand. This went well with my plan to read more of the region's authors and writings.

Sightseeing is Thai-American Rattawut Lapchroensap's collection of short stories, mostly coming-of-age experiences.

There's a prevalence of alienation among the characters as they straddle between family and society, Westernization and tradition, together with how they grapple with the allure of materialism and their budding sexuality.

The use of very simple language suited well the innocence of the characters. At times the stories are a tad too melodramatic though.

A strong point of the book, however, is its strong sense of place, whether it be in the beaches of Phuket, or the seedy bars of Bangkok, or the congested slums. I was quite pleased to have a sense of familiarity with the lives of the characters and their setting, they could've been set in the Philippines and it would not make any difference.

There is actually a Filipino connection in the book. In the final story (a novella I think), Cockfighter, the cocks of the character's father were defeated by supposedly Filipino purebreds.

When looking at a the collection of English-language novels about Thailand, one would often see Western-authored pieces that deal with all the cliches of the country - sex tourism, local bar girls marrying foreigners, and the experiences of tourists languishing in hellish Thai prisons. There are dozens of them lining up the shelves, I swear it sickens me.

Reading Sightseeing is a good departure from all these hackneyed (and maybe exoticized) accounts.

I finally finished The Gangster of Love by Filipina author Jessica Hagedorn, which I found in a book sale in Bangkok several months back. (I read Dogeaters when I was in college and I'm still dying to read Dream Jungle.)

Anyhoot, The Gangster of Love is a good-old depiction of the immigrant experience, in particular that of Rocky, the main character, as she traverses the landscape of teenage angst, the messy life of being a vocalist of a band, and her screwball of a family.

It has quite a disjointed writing style: perspectives and tones change constantly. Even the structure is unconventional and I finished the novel still not figuring out what the main story is.

It's definitely not a unique approach, but embellished with such inventive language and said from the view of a Filipino immigrant, I find it quite refreshing.

Swinging in Soi Twilight

The night started as a regular chit chat session with my Pinoy friends at McDonald's (the official Filipino restaurant in BKK). D's friends, a couple of Australian guys and a British lady (who are traveling around Southeast Asia), joined us later in the evening. Chit chat galore... until the group decided to check out Soi Twilight, which is the gay world's counterpart of the infamous Pat Pong stretch in Silom.

After I watched the ping-pong show in Pat Pong several months back, I decided that I'm not going to "participate" again in anything that involves prostitutes and stuff. I simply find it demeaning. But then, through classic "peer pressure", I tagged along with the group. Anyway, I've long been curious about the "fuck shows" in Soi Twilight, so I figured that I might as well get it over with. (There are way too many quotation marks in this paragraph.)


Among the numerous bars, D brought us to Future Boys. The interior is standard boxing-ring type of lay-out, albeit instead of boxers the main attraction is the skinny boys wearing white underwear. I swear they looked so young to me, like some of them seemed 13 or 15.

One of the first entrees were three men, wearing the requisite white underwear, gyrating on the stage. I initially thought it was standard "macho dancing", which I've seen back home, but then when I looked closer I caught a glimpse of the head of their members showing from the garter of their underwear. Now, that was interesting! One of the guys eventually ended up giving the the other guys some good-old, ehem, oral stimulation.

Am I giving way too much details here?

All right, all right... let's temper this down a bit. So the next routine involved some candle wax dripping over the the skinny boy's bodies, classic 69 on a bamboo bed, and some soapy interlude as well. Yeah, all the cliches. But then, came in the finale, which involved two couples doing some serious fucking while swinging from the ceiling and perhaps all the Kama Sutra positions covered. Definitely there are things that you do not see everyday! Midway in the act, the entangled couples went around the bar doing their stint right on the lap of some of the audience members while asking for tips. The couples and all the other performers actually seemed bored in their routines. It's like, you know, another day at work.

I really find the whole thing freakish rather than erotic.

***

From Soi Twilight, I met up with the Pranses in a Silom gay club where PJ was also canoodling with his boy. PJ introduced me to quite a number of Pinoy gay guys who were also partying in the club last night. I didn't know na ang dami pala naming bading na nagwo-work sa BKK ha! Ang shaya, shaya!!!

From the club, the Pranses and I wandered around the dark and deserted streets of Silom. He finally opened up about his thoughts on this whole thing between us -- his apprehensions, fears, and all. It was obviously not total good news but I already anticipated most of what he said. Essentially, we realized the cruelty of our impermanent lives in Bangkok. We are transients. He has his plans and I have mine. Six months from now our lives might eventually diverge. Sigh.

***

Photo credit: Bangkok Eyes

Unspeakable Things

Sigh... the Pranses arrived yesterday. Of course, what else is there to do but get our hands on each other! We met in Khao San on the pretense of some drinks, which we ended up having while he talked about his holiday -- cleaning the garden, appreciating the mountains, having long chats with his family, etc.

The cold weather is back by the way. Noticing that, we decided to walk around the vicinity, and this was like past midnight already. We ended up in a deserted park but alas it was closed. But still we managed to sneak inside and did some unspeakable things. Nah, not sex... that's just too risque noh.

From the park we walked around the dark and empty sois (alleys) where more unspeakable things took place between the Pranses and me. It was creepy, the thought of being caught you know. When we sensed that someone was around we disengaged and walked a bit farther until we found yet another dark soi. Aimlessly walking around the twisted sois, we eventually ended up in a small pier along the river. The river breeze was bloody cold, thank god we had each other for warmth.

It was nice looking at his face again, staring at his eyes, feeling his lips on mine, hugging like there's no tomorrow.

The thing is, the Pranses and I have not talked about the real deal between us. Is it important anyway when all of our actions say that we are crazy about each other?

Gay Classic

Let's walk down memory lane, shall we?

Remember Crucified by Army of Lovers?

Lookie, lookie!!! This has yet to be the GAYEST video ever.

Libog Blues

I never thought the day would come when I'd refuse an outright invitation to have sex with this uber sexy Thai guy I met at a Silom bar. Let's call him Jack. I've seen him in the club on several occasions before and damn, he's gawgeous. Fucking gawgeous. But then he's always at some distance from me, I would just satisfy my self with stealing glances at him and his other equally hot friends.

A couple of nights ago, courtesy of the endless shoving of people in the bar, I found Jack inches from where I stood. Our eyes met, he smiled, I had an orgasm (charing!). We held hands and danced. Several times his hands would grab parts of my body I would not dare mention here. The introductions came later, which is often the case in these kinds of encounters anyway. More minutes of dancing and touching passed, and then he whispered that he's going home.

"I want you to come with me," he said.

"I can't."

He gave me that cute pleading look.

"I just can't, I'm sorry," I replied.

He smiled and left, with me muttering to my self, "Shet sayang! Shet, shet, sheeeeet!!!"

When the Pranses left for the holidays, I was at a quandary over what we really are. I reckoned we have something going on but still nothing serious enough to stop me from seeing other men. Saw other men I did! In the course of the past three weeks, I met two former "dates", and definitely these are innocuous meetings. Coffee, dinner, movie. There were instances when things tread dangerous territory but I've successfully managed to pull away from all the kalibugan, thank God. Also, with the frequency of my visits to gay clubs lately, I constantly find my self avoiding having eye contact with men for fear that things would go out of control. OK, a transgression was made a couple of nights back. But in all other cases, I simply danced my night to exhaustion.

PJ says I'm sort of stupid to let hedonistic opportunities go unexploited. If I do otherwise, I am not in any way violating my so-called "relationship" with the Pranses coz he and I do not have any relationship to speak of. Maybe PJ is right. Maybe this is my inner drama queen kicking in yet again.

All I really want is to look the Pranses straight in the eye when he comes back. Fuck, that Pranses better be worth all these bloody sacrifices.

Judgment Day

So it's the time of the year again when one evaluates the 12 months that's about to close, a thing that I'm not exactly fond of. Most of the time I regard my so-called annual commitments a huge disaster. This obviously is the case this year based on how miserably I failed in pursuing my "perspectives" and "fundamentals" for 2007 (rolls eyes!). Or did I?

Just to review, below are my 2007 commitments and their respective self-evaluation. Just like in the university, I'd give my self a grade, with 5 as the failing grade, 3 as passing the grade, and with 1 as the highest mark.

De-center. Think more about other people.

Hmm... this is a tough one. I certainly listened more to my friends without my usual judgmental eye. My relationship with my sister reached all-time high. My friendships likewise flourished by choosing to maintain the old connections and giving birth to new ones. So I can give my self a rating of 2 because still I think I need to be more intensive in knowing people rather than just meeting them.

Share. Give. Bridge. Reach out.

An absolute 5! No fucking doubt about it. (What was I thinking when I made this commitment though, that I was in the Miss Universe?) I could not remember me giving out to charity this year, much less volunteer in anything remotely cause-oriented, unless it is MY cause of course. I should concede that this has yet to be my most selfish year ever. No Nobel Prize for me yet.

Be thankful. Complaining gets me nowhere.

Whining has always been very tempting instead of looking at the bright side of things. If I review my posts for 2007, I bemoaned about boredom at work and with life in general. I also lambasted my self for not getting the scholarships I vied for. Several times I vented my frustration over the lack of excitement in my life, whatever I meant by that. The second half of the year was better for me though. I moved to another city, got a new job, and met amazing people. All these I'm definitely thankful for. With half of the year spent on complaining and another half spent on being grateful for the opportunities landing my way, I will give my self a passing grade of 3.

Appreciate rather than criticize.

Hmmm... I cannot remember what I meant by this, hence I shall skip this particular commitment for now.

Be curios so I'd discover more

I maintained my passion for expanding my knowledge this year. When it comes to reading, I ventured into history, economics, and sociology. I now belong to an organization whose field is not my specialization, I was thus motivated to discover another subject of thought. Moving to another country also piqued my curiosity on Southeast Asia in general, a topic that I feel I hardly know about and I'm bent on fastly grasping its dynamic culture and history. Meanwhile, being just adventurous in say discovering the city has helped me in boundless ways to understand and appreciate the nuances of this complex urban landscape and its inhabitants. Traveling has also broadened my horizons about the experiences of other people and I plan to do more of that in 2008. For this criteria therefore, I'd give my self a 1.

Honesty has always been the best policy.

Oh, no doubt I will give my self a high mark on this (charing!). I continue to believe and practice honesty to my self and to other people, so I'd deserve a 1 (charing talaga!).

Reflect. Improve self-awareness. Listen more to my heart.

Another tricky one. Of course I'm self-aware coz I'm perpetually selfish anyway. But how that self-awareness has brought me anywhere is another question. Especially the line: listen to my heart (gasp!). Well, reflection is something I regularly do, in particular when I'm confused or frustrated. Introspection helps me calm me down. While there are no major breakthroughs this year, keeping the habit of self-reflection and awareness was good enough, therefore I shall give my self a 2.

Balance: planning vs. taking risks.

For the first half of the year I was obsessed with planning. It seemed I had a clear vision of my self, that of studying in Europe. Slowly these plans crumbled as caused by my laziness or pure katangahan. Sigh. But then the opportunity of working and living abroad came my way, and this definitely were not part of my plans. Just the same, I took the risk, thinking what do I have to lose anyway? Indeed it was a risk worth taking. I still could not believe how lucky I am right now, and I could only be very thankful.

If only I have the same bravado for taking risks in love as well. But 2008 holds a lot of promise, so you better watch out, bitch.

A 2 for this criteria.

There is no there way other than self-improvement.

Oh, so how does one measure self-improvement? The important thing is, it gives me comfort that despite the roller coaster ride that was 2007, I matured in countless ways and indeed ready for the next year. But still, since maturity is a long process I'm giving my self an INCOMPLETE.

Broken Sky

While roaming around the blogsphere I found a short review of Broken Sky (Mexico) in this interesting blog find called On Hedonism.

I checked Youtube for some clips, which I am sharing below. You have to watch this three-minute trailer and please note of the deeply moving music. This certainly put a smile on my face and hopefully on yours as well.

Below is an extended and equally fascinating (and more sexy) 9 minute clip.

I wonder if I can find the DVD in Silom?

I Think We Know Each Other

For such a humongous city like Bangkok, replete with hundreds of gay clubs, I am quite disturbed that I'm starting to collide paths with my past "dates" (I can't help putting the quotation marks). And I've only been here for less than five months ha. I don't want to believe that I've been such a serial dater, if I may use the term. In fact, by the standards of gay men in Bangkok (mainly my perception), my dating life has been pretty drab. I can still certainly count with my fingers the guys I've went out with. But still I'm baffled how in the world I start bumping into them.

Until now I don't know how to react when I meet one. Probably I can say something like...

-- Hi H, remember me? We went out once, some months ago. You said you'd call and obviously you didn't.

That just sounds so bitter, don't you think?

How about...

-- Oh hi! So who's that bastard wrapped in your arms tonight? Does he know what a lousy kisser you are? I hope you have fun together though.

Bitter pa rin!

Or better yet, I can just French kiss the nearest guy beside me to show the ex-"date" that I'm still having the time of my life.

The sad fact is, a nice friendship did not just come out from among these ex-"dates". I'm still grappling with the fact that one should not expect from some bastard you met in a bar, who, like my self, is just there to have fun.

**


So in anticipation of another weekend imposed with an alcohol ban (starting tonight), PJ and I went to Lang Suan to have our dose of alcohol for the week. Last night was already our second night out, having went out last Tuesday as well. On both occasions, the bars were packed, which we thanked on the alcohol ban. So yesterday PJ and I dropped by for the first time in this all-Thai bar, and we were totally floored by the sea of knock-out gay men crammed in such a small space! By now, me enthusing on Thai men is such a cliche, but I couldn't fucking help it, right?

My problem however with these all-Thai gay clubs is the horrendous music. Since I started going to these places five months ago, they still play the same bloody Thai club music that everybody seems to excitedly dance to. The worst thing is they have such an outdated line-up of Western music, such as a remix of... Nothing's Gonna Change My Love for You. Punyetashet talaga!

At 1 a.m., PJ and I moved to a popular gay club in Silom, where the music is a bit better at least and where the drinks are way cheaper. There I saw H, an American that I went out with on my first month here. He was dragging towards the exit what looked like a 12 year old boy. Our eyes met for a second there, but I don't think he still recognized me coz I had since cut my hair. I would've wanted to chat with him but I simply didn't know what to say.

And the night continued.

I believe I've managed to figure out the zones of the club. In general, you find most of the Westerners on the second floor, hounded by an overflowing array of money-boys. PJ and I call it the meat market. It's a fun place to be when one is out to watch a spectacle of ensnarement. Meanwhile, the first floor, where we mostly stay, is stuffed with locals and a few Westerners lurking on the periphery. There's hardly any space on the first floor, and one is mostly gobbled by the unrestrained churning of gorgeous, intoxicated gay men.

Photo Credit: View Images

Whoa!

Oh. My. Gawd! OMFG!

Well, well, well... look who was featured on Pinoy Gay Blogs?

"What strikes me most about the blog is definitely the quality of his writing paired with the very tasteful images that accompany most of the articles."

"Girard definitely feels like someone I’d love to meet in person, at least based on his writing and you may feel similarly as well after you’ve read a decent number of his entries."

Read the full review here.

Kumusta naman di ba? I did not expect this, I swear! I'm flattered but humbled at the same time.

Thanks Rocky, who wrote the review and also posted the same on his blog.

A Pre-Christmas Dinner

Chicken and Salmon Combo at Pepper Lunch
L and I had our pre-Christmas dinner last night at Central World, perhaps my favorite mall in Bangkok. We were supposed to go Vietnamese but the restaurant was quite a walk from the mall. So instead we settled with Pepper Lunch, which I read about in Cecil Zamora's blog (Cecil actually got the Manila franchise of the said chain). Since I hardly eat beef, I had the scrumptious chicken and salmon combo. As usual, I don't have any opinion about the food at all.

L and I had a long chat about a variety of topics, mostly the politics back home. I always look forward to these moments with L coz it's a chance for us to update ourselves of the news back home and exchange opinions about the circus that is Pinoy politics.

As a Christmas gift, L gave me a CD of the soundtrack of French Kiss (wink, wink, wink!).

After dinner and tea, L and I went outside Central World to gawk at the humongous Christmas tree. Who said, Christmas is not celebrated in Bangkok? In fact, with the King's birthday also celebrated in December, the lights set up for the occasion can also serve as Christmas decors (it depends who's looking at them). But in general, the malls have caught up with the Christmas spirit: Santa Claus, reindeers, and all.

Lights at Rachadamnoen Avenue for the King's birthday celebrations

Christmas at Central World
So there, I did not escape Christmas this year, although it's less garish here in Bangkok. Christmas has never been my favorite holidays, on the other hand, I have to admit that I do miss how Pinoys celebrate this season: the over-the-top decorations, the commercialism, and the endless parties especially.

By the way, L is going home to Bulacan tomorrow. D left for Manila a couple of nights back and PJ is flying to Seoul this weekend. Oh my, this might be another Christmas spent alone, just like last year when I decided to head for the cold mountains. Until now I have no concrete plans for the holidays yet and with hardly a week left I'm desperately looking for someone to spend Christmas eve with.

Anybody reading this and who's in Bangkok on Christmas eve... please, I don't mind being invited.

Dead Air

Last night, PJ and I had the most eerie experience while walking in Khao San Road, Bangkok's backpacking capital. At 11 p.m., the usually rowdy street full of people from all walks of life and from various parts of the globe, was silent. No blasting music from the bars, no drunken revelry, and pretty much the whole street was deserted by Khao San Road standards on a Friday night. Most of the food hawkers and stalls selling clothes even folded their wares much earlier in the evening.

Next week being Thailand's national elections, an alcohol ban was imposed for this weekend and the next. I suppose the relative tranquility we found in Khao San is also reflected in the major party areas such as Silom and Sukhumvit, which is very very rare in Bangkok. PJ and I had to scrap our plan of going to a gay bar tonight and we are opting to have coffee somewhere instead. Such a bummer, don't you think? And to think it's fucking Christmas!

Anyway, to continue the story, PJ and I ended up in a straight bar in the corner of Khao San and Samsen, where we settled for some fruit juice. All the usual characters are there, mostly the backpacker crowd of course. I honestly could not remember the last time I've been in a straight bar. I had no idea how to conduct my self in such places. I panicked when, on a ledge behind me, a petite woman started swinging her hips like she had a colony of termites in her panties. I quickly dragged PJ out of the bar and we decided to call it a night.

***

Two nights ago, the Pranses and I met for some coffee and we were still talking about the wonderful trip to Cambodia. Coffee was followed by watching a film and then some quick dinner. Last night he flew back home for the holidays. It's the start of three agonizing weeks without him. I can't be more sad.

Damn, this is what I'm talking about. All the drama. I can't handle them. But in fairness to my self, I'm relatively doing fine with restraining my self from getting too attached with the Pranses, although this is terribly difficult coz he is such an adorable person. I hope I can keep this act longer.

We'd Always Have Angkor

The problem with taking a long trip is writing about it. It's definitely very challenging to cramp in everything that happened in a chronological order without sounding verbose and prosaic about doing this and that, seeing so and so, etc. So for this trip, I just want to instead highlight random impressions of the whole experience, and here it goes.

1.) The parts that I saw of Cambodia were dusty. Red, gray, orange, yellow dust. It permeates everything, I can even feel it between my teeth. Also, I've never seen a place so flat. Unimpeded fields and fields of rice spanning all the way to the horizon, as far as the eyes can see. Another exciting thing about Cambodia is the money. It has the riel as the official currency. But in Siem Reap, one can use the US dollar, the Thai baht, and the Cambodian riel of course. However, the currency of choice is the US dollar. All the prices in the restaurants and the convenience stores are in dollars. One time I paid for a bottle of water using Thai baht and was given some change in US dollars and riel. It couldn't be more crazy than that.


2.) Mass tourism has crept all over Siem Reap, from uber swanky hotels to rundown guesthouses. Most businesses are obviously oriented towards the tourism industry, including travel agencies, restaurants (which are surprisingly tastefully decorated by the way), bicycle rental shops, etc. Of course they could not help it coz the country's biggest attraction is found in this town, but then I could not help but wonder if the authorities could somehow manage the chaos, especially the construction boom, to maintain its quaint atmosphere.


3.) Speaking of mass tourism, one cannot avoid the tour groups. They are fucking everywhere! It does not help of course that I went during the height of the tourist season. At some point my sole concern was actually getting away from them, which seems futile because they're always looming nearby in their uniform umbrellas, noisy guides, and corny hats. When caught in the stampede of tour groups, one would be drowned in the noise of dozens of cameras clicking and the endless stream of people posing in front of a particular edifice or bass reliefs.





4.) The ruins of Angkor are definitely worth the hype. They're majestic, mesmerizing, and surreal. Angkor Wat itself was underwhelming, for some reason I have yet to figure out. But Bayon (the temple with larges Buddha faces) and Ta Phrom (famed for the huge roots hugging the ruins) are two of my most favorite sites. If walking around them in their ruined state is already a staggering experience, one can only wonder how it was during the height of their civilization.




5.) But then, one can only have enough of them ruins. My friend and I were mesmerized on the first day, trying to capture the details, oooohing and aaaahing over the intricate carvings and how the huge rocks were piled to achieve such exquisite structures. The second day was less exciting coz we felt we're quite familiar with some of the features already. But on the third day, we simply took quick visits to the ruins as they were becoming way all too monotonous... same balusters, same deities, same Buddhas, same old heaps and blocks of sandstones and whatnot. That's just us of course, and for some people their reaction might be way different... why don't we ask the tour groups?


6.) One of the best ways to see Angkor is by bicycle. While on our first day we rented a tuk-tuk coz we first visited the farther temples, on the second and last day we opted to rent bicycles instead. This is a good choice for transport coz we were able to enjoy more the scenery and take in as much of nature as we can. On the second day, we must have covered around 8 kms and roughly 15 kms on the third day. That was yet the most distance I've done on a bicycle and right now my bums hurt. The downside to riding the bicycles is that one can only move at a certain pace and therefore we covered less temples than we initially intended.

7.) The highlight of my Angkor trip is not only seeing a place I've wanted to visit all my life, but experiencing it all with perhaps one of the most wonderful persons I've ever met. Sigh.

Yun lang po. Bow.

Angkor at Last!

Lookie, lookie, who just came back from five days of the most amazing holiday EVAR?

An account of the trip is coming in the next few days.

Pics can be seen here and here.